How to stop thinking bad things about my fwb ex?

So, I broke up with this guy that I was dating for a short amount of time 4 years ago, but we'be managed to maintain a fwb type of relationship throughout that time. He's also helped me make a bunch of important life decisions, led me to undergrad, helped me find a job etc.

The problem is, I have these really intense daydream type of thoughts about him doing things to piss me off, hurt me, make me sad. They're never real, and they're always hypothetical future events. They usually end in us breaking off all contact with each other and never speaking to one another ever again, or him apologizing or me explaining why I did something that I imagined in the daydream or whatever you want to call it.

Despite the obvious issues with that, they're so vivid and they get so out of control, that I actual feel the emotions I imagine, e.g I start getting really mad at him, really hurt, extremely depressed. But I literally zone out and spend like 20 or 30 min thinking about these unreal hypothetical situations that don't even exist, about him making me feel negative emotions, which has never been his intention in our actual relationship.

I'm pretty sure this isn't normal OR healthy, and I feel so guilty because idk if it means I'm just an attention grabber wishing to cause a scene to make him feel like he owes me more love/attention. He's not a bad person in any respect, but he never really understands what I'm feeling, and whenever we text the conversation always leaves me less than satisfied, like I was expecting more from him. Sometimes the conversations leave me feeling that way too, and sometimes I feel like I start fights about stupid stuff sometimes.

I want to know how to stop all of this. I feel that breaking off contact wouldn't work, because he doesn't deserve that and I think he wants to stay in my life in some form, and if it's an internal ego problem than I will just transfer all of this to the next person I date.

Does anyone have any advice? Is there a way to stop getting irrationally emotional over these stupid imaginatory fights? Any thoughts (that are not dickish) would be greatly appreciated!!
ZeShaykes
Asked Nov 23, 2016

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