Help with my controlling abusive ex partner that I have a son with

Hi I have a son who is 3 years old and me and the dad are not together. It was a toxic, controlling, abusive relationship that lasted too long but I finally got the courage and left but he still is in my life due to our son. I feel like even though we split before our son was due he still impacts massively on my life. He constantly undermines me, disagrees with everything I say, argues deliberately in front of our son so I won't argue back and is just plain nasty to me. But harder than that he picks and chooses when he wants to be dad of the year or not, for example our son is ill and attends a lot of appointments I attend every single one and am up to date in his medical situation he chooses the 'important ones' (his words) then gets angry when he doesn't know information because he doesn't attend appointments or asks how our son gets on but feels he has a right to get aggressive or blame me for this. We recently finished court, but before hand it was agreed that I would tell him appointment dates etc but it is his job to attend or find out how they go. I am just so sick of listening to him blame me but not take any responsibility and feel he has a right to everything, and I hate how he affects me because I become very upset, run down, anxious, depressed and I get scared. I don't want to leave my life like this but I feel until he changes I'm stuck! Any advice?
Asked Oct 23, 2015

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