Why is everyone envious of me?

I am a looser I have nothing my life is total fuck and fucked up I'm lucky if I survive, why are people so envious of me? I had a shitty-childhood. Didn't have the privelage of going to high school when I was a teenager.. Didn't have childhood friends for most of the time. I never held a real job. I suffer from chronic pain and suffered from chronic itching since I was six. I have things other people get (most things other people have had opportunities for) right now. I never had this and now everyone basically wants to kill me cause they're so envious of me!! the people I knew used me and everyone I knew used me. The people I helped and lost out on my life for- their allies ended up cheating me out slandering my name and working for my dad to try to get me to do whatever they want. When I ended up doing what they wanted later instead of benefiting my future they still did it and more they won't stop and everyone points at me and says Im crazy. They keep making me not want to live which is they want - me to suicide. I did so much help for them. When I got support from them for abuse, I found it was used against me and dad found out so he smeared my reputation. I wasn't happy yet I worked hard for them, every day.

and some women my dad knows who I don't even remember at all wants to steal something of mine dad said someone said she's jelous. I don't even know her and she lives in America where I haven't lived in a decade and a half.

Dad was jelous that I was going to be able to continue school, everyone said it it isn't really fair that she wants to get further in her life (even though they got WAY futher than me) it was really unfair and that they should hold me back.

I keep having nightmares about a person I trust who I kept turning to whenever people blackslander me outside my house being mean to me.

The group's friend said its fair that they slander me and anything because I'm 'bad' to them. I don't live near them I am no threat to them.
My neighbor uses black magic and cia tech against me (so does my dad cause I was 'mean' to him at home' they kept changing the rules by the way after I obeyed them I was told I am disobeying him, makes trouble and spreads libel about me.

They use cia tech to harass me the whole community hates me they know it when I walk past their houses. They start shouting.

I've never done drugs, cheated on a guy, sold drugs, robbed a store, murdered anyone or threatened the government. They said I threatened the government when I was a kid cause I "dissed" their belief of rules BECAUSE MY MOM IS EX SECRET FORCES (is why they did it that is part of (the reason why they decided to make trouble for me), for disobeying my parents when I was little.

When I act at all out of line by by attitude they can see it and if I talk to anyone they also hate me and slander me they ignore me until I smile and start saying how are you what's new, what you up to what's happened what's your life experiences? Or just cause I go where they are "too often".

Dad ended up borrowing "3000 dollars" that I took ages to earn by working for him, and he never payed it back saying I actually didn't deserve it because he doesn't have enough money to feed us all. but have gave me the option to lie to him that I didn't have the money. I bought food for myself because he wouldn't give me enough food and then he guilt tripped me into giving it to him because he needed it so badly because he was poor and I had so much I was luckier than him I needed to get money that was "really mine" because I appreciated my dad not because I wanted to "use him" to earn money. I didnt want to help my parents at home cause they never gave me sincere appreciation that I am doing them something for their help they said I can't talk to their people (not my friends "their" people including the kids- I had no friends they told me) and I couldn't stop till I worked and I couldn't stop working till I stoppe drying and throwing tantrums. They say I'm after the religion because when I was a 3 year old I said their religion is bad or something cause my dad and mom don't want to love me they held a religious herring on this to decide, should I be publicly defamed as "game"?

I fear my mother is slandering me to keep me to herself. She lives in America.

I didn't want to to have a dad I was given one part of reason that I had rebelled when I was a toddler

I owe money and if I don't pay it back now before it is due the ops forces will slander me like they do because I am supposed to be working before it is due to pay it off because in 2 years I will be jailable for breaking the law for not paying back the $3000 plus to them

The neighbors kids harass me every day, and they tell me I'm poor everyone tells each other behind my back while being nice and going to win millions and that I win millions and that I was rich because I have and do good things like they have too

When people find out Im not always being a hopeless depressed good for nothing useless lonely helpless status quo-slave they slander and hate me.
And when I am doing well they plot behind my back.

They said if I don't go back to my dads cause I cant take care of myself according to them I'm not ready and I'm not employed (Im 26) then they will start using my thoughts against me (which they already do) they did since I didn't find a job. When I was a teenager and I was living at parents everyone harassed me wherever I went a lot. In the end they would do it at me later in the month and then would point fingers at me (which they are doing now tho) if I didn't be quiet to my neighbors too and if I blast my music (which I have never done and move in my bed constantly which I never did till a couple months ago which was later they'd use cia tech on me dad had said and he said I
am bad and he hates me to my new neighbor)..

Anything I thought of doing to harm them in reverse they voiced out loud my thoughts (accusing me of doing what I thought they were)

I bought headphones eventually so I dont upset my neighbor and when they break I listen to my movies in another room fruther from their places
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Jul 04, 2015
Edited Jul 04, 2015

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