How do I deal with sexual dissatisfaction in a loving relationship?

I've been in a loving relationship for almost a year now. I gave my virginity to my partner about a month into the relationship and we have sex regularly. I also perform oral sex on him regularly even if we don't actually have intercourse, a lot of the time without him asking. At first I was completely against it but after seeing how much he wanted it I compromised my views because I understand how pleasuring oral can be for men and I wish to please my partner. He, however is completely against giving oral sex and won't even kiss my thighs. He's explained many times that giving oral sex goes against all of his beliefs and he will never do it. I've always respected this and have never hinted or asked him to do it. I find that during intercourse I often don't feel any pleasure and I never even come close to climaxing. Many times I've resulted in faking moans and gasps. I pleasure myself alone a lot and try to push my unfulfilled sexual needs to the back of my mind but I do think about receiving oral and I know it would be incredibly satisfying.
I had a friend I used to speak to over text who would brag about his skills in giving oral and would often tell me he'd be more than happy to show me. I did not initiate these conversations but I did flirt slightly. I admit I had no attraction to the person but just the idea of sexual satisfaction. We do not speak anymore and I feel extremely guilty for even entertaining him.
However, I do find myself thinking about oral sex and wanting it more and more. I feel slightly resentful towards my partner and I'm less eager to give him oral as I feel it's unfair. I think about cheating on him once in a while but I know the long term guilt would outweigh the short lived pleasure and my relationship would end. Nevertheless I don't want to remain unsatisfied all my life because this year alone has been very difficult. I have done a fair bit of research and found that many men cheat to receive oral and that they see this as a kind of punishment to their women who refuse to satisfy them. I see many people with the opinion that if a man is not given what he feels he needs sexually then he has the right to chest. This upsets me and does affect how I feel towards my other half. I know many people who are attracted to me that would be happy to perform the deed but I can't jeopardise my relationship like that. I also know a female who has expressed some interest in performing oral sex on me which, in my mind, would be less of a bad thing than receiving it from a man. I've also considered buying sex toys.
Recently he has taken great interest in giving me an orgasm which really impressed me and made me hopeful that he might change his mind. His effort is lovely to see but he still hasn't managed to achieve what he wants to. He later mentioned that he only wants to give me an orgasm once to feel like he's overcome this personal challenge which took me back to resentment. I often feel angry after sex now which he notices. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay with or remain faithful to him if the sex doesn't improve or change. What should I do?
Asked Jun 10, 2015
Well maybe you should talk to him, I think it should be in balance! So if you give something, he should give it back to you! However cheating is not a solution, I mean don't you think you would feel guilty all your life!
Answered Jun 10, 2015
If he doesn't believe in it then he wouldn't be letting you do it, he's lying to get out of it for a reason! My personal opinion is that he is gay, but doesn't want to come out or hasn't accepted it yet or something like that. This is just what I think from the details you've given only though, and the fact that I'm a straight male. Any guy who doesn't want to go down on a girl is most likely gay or has never done it and afraid of what it might smell or taste like from things he's heard that is mostly untrue or jokingly from friends. Front his lying ass about it! Girls taste awesome, and guys love the fact that a girl has an orgasm because from oral which only makes us harder and hotter and the sex afterwards that much more exciting for the both of us. Tell him how you feel and use my 1 rule in the bedroom, which is, you can't say no to anything that you haven't tried with me and try anything that either of us wants to try at least once before decide you don't like it and then after actually trying it if you really don't then you don't have to do it ever again with me unless you want to. I never had to use it for oral but you may have to go to that extreme if I'm wrong and he isn't gay
Answered Mar 27, 2018

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