Am I just being a good friend or am I doing too much?

One of my friends whom I have known for five years now. We were pretty close in high school and always texted each other. In high school maybe around end of junior year into the beginning of senior year she went though some horrible things with her boyfriend and family. Let's just say it changed her. She was depressed all the time, cussed more (we all do but she did a lot), she hurt herself, and just wasn't feeling good about life.
I didn't see or talk to her too much senior year but we then came to the same college. Maybe the first month we had our same crew together from high school. She was always a downer, but I understood because she can't always be smiles after what she went through. Most of our so called friends called her a mood kill and eventually stopped talking to her. This made her feel even worse. :/
I made an effort to hangout with her more so she wouldn't feel so alone all the time. I was me, her, and another friend. We all still hangout together. Recently there has been times when they want to drink or smoke hookah (I don't like either) but somehow they always persuade me to come along with them and I'm kinda just sitting there while they have "fun". A couple weekends ago she wanted to go to a hookah bar that's 25 mins away and she was upset because nobody wanted to go. (This is the only thing she thinks is fun to do) So me and my friend weren't gonna let her go 25 mins away by herself at night. So we all got in her car and went. I don't smoke hookah so I was playing video games. The owner of the place was like hey you guys wanna drink. This is where I was like "NO! You drove here! We are 25 mins away from where we live! Plus you don't these people!" Some shady things went down that night. Long story short both my friends got drunk and we ended up spending the night in this raggedy ass hookah bar because we couldn't drive. The next day after we got back at 8am she genuinely said so when are we going back? I was like "none of us are ever going back there!"
Now this weekend me and our other friend are probably going home and she will be on campus by herself. She says she has no friends but there's people she talks too she just doesn't want to reach out to them. She says she tired of sitting in her room all the time but also never wants to go anywhere because it's "too far" or "too cold". *eye roll* I try to give ideas for people she can hang out with or things on campus she can do, but she bashes down EVERYTHING I say. I'm kind of tired of trying to help her. I would never leave her or stop being her friend because of this but it's really exhausting.
Many people have told me I'm doing too much and that I should let her problems stress me out and that I should let her make her own mistakes if she wants to. But I feel like a good friend, if they see their friend is in trouble or needs help, would do something about it. Idk what to do anymore I just don't see my friend get any more hurt than she already is.
Thanks
ShelbiLove
Asked Feb 18, 2015
You are a good friend and what you are doing for her is necessary for her because she is suffering from depression.
This state of hers will only get worse. So you gotta take her to a psychiatrist.
Get her to meditate.
Get her to exercise.

What most people don't know is how to manage a depressed person. So you better google it as soon as possible.

And, one thing, never tell a depressed person that he or she is depressed....directly to their faces. Tell them in a calm way. Also tell them that it is no big deal and it can be healed.
Jane16
Answered Feb 20, 2015

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