Am I an insensitive jerk

Here's the deal. About a year ago I had a major crush on this amazing woman I work with. She's one of those rocker chicks that is just coil as hell, and looks incredibly gorgeous in a leather jacket 😍. I almost asked her out a year ago. Didn't because she had a bf. Her bf died yesterday morning and she is obviously devastated, they known each other for 30 years. She won't be coming to work for awhile so I messaged her through our jobs online schedule and communication thing we have. I have no other way to contact her right now. I basically gave her my number and told her that if she needs anything at all, day or night, to call me and I'll be or do whatever she needs. That's not the problem, just some background to help you give an informed opinion and some sound advice. I find myself wanting to jump at the chance to be with her. I actually considered talking advantage of her vulnerable state, not take advantage of her, but use the situation to my advantage. Would never hurt or take advantage of her, I care too much for her to do such an ignorant, selfish, and insensitive thing. I'm not actually going to use her bf's death to make her mine. I just feel like the biggest most insensitive, most selfish @ss for letting the thought even enter my mind. Am I an insensitive jerk or am I just being too hard on myself. Like I said I care too much for her to even take advantage of the situation let alone take advantage of her, but I still feel unbelievably guilty and kinda hate myself for even considering for the brief moment I did.
papafuzz
Asked Feb 01, 2015
Well I can understand where your coming from and yes I suppose it is the wrong way of thinking but you do have your heart in the right place, give her time you don't want to be the rebound as she may be very unstable right now and jumping into an unstable relationship after that happening may result in disaster later on down the track, let her heal but be there for her "as a friend only! Then see where it leads later on. Goodluck
Meeka
Answered Feb 02, 2015
Thank you for the answer. Was hoping to get a woman's point of view on this. Of course I don't want to be a rebound. I do feel a little better after reading your answer but still feel horrible for the thought. She's a damn good woman and deserves better. I just feel so helpless right now being I can't even as little as give encouraging words like I did back in April when her nephew died.
Not at all, your heart is definitely a good one, and i'm pretty sure anyone would consider taking advantage of her, but you should know you aren't being insensitive because you didn't go through with it. She'd be lucky to have someone like you.
Samantha1147
Answered Feb 03, 2015
Thanks. Makes me feel better about it now that people have told me that the fact I couldn't and wouldn't do it is what really matters.
I think you answered your own question pal
Mitch70
Answered Feb 01, 2015
Your Question is the Answer.
EmmaWilliam
Answered Feb 03, 2015

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