In love with my straight best friend.wait it gets more complicated!

Hi guys,so this is gonna be a long one!

I'm at uni and in love with my straight best friend,we have always had a flirty friendship and everyone in our group of friends knows I love him,including him!

It was so hard to see him with his gf and hear then up to stuff I lived right by him at uni and could hear that and would throw things at the walls and scream and became very depressed and was diginosed with possible bipolar,eventually I got myself together somewhat and we became really close talking all night and drinking together having a flirt even sleeping in his bed together,sounds stupid but its the best nights sleep ever and I've never felt so safe,I've never been in a relationship and this felt like the closest I've ever been to one,lol

One thing that was bothered me was him trying to get with my best friends,he tried it with my house mate (a girl) who rejected him on my birthday he stayed on my floor with my best friend (a girl) who came to visit and was trying to touch her,she too told him to get lost and when she told me the next day,I was heartbroken.

There's also another best friend of mine he met through me who he always trys it with I've heard of their text such as 'wait till I walk him (meaning me) home then I will sneak back to urs ;-)' and obviously that hurt me and its made me super paranoid too! I know its selfish to ask him not to get with them but ive explained they are my best friends and it would kill me!

eventually drunkly I tried it on and ended up giving him oral sex,he asked to go the whole way but ive never been with anyone ive loved before so I just said next time,with that he just said he never cums from oral and truned around and we went to sleep ,we didn't see each other for the next few days and when we did it was fine but I text him asking to speak about it and wanting to know what does it mean,basically it was 'it was good,I don't regret it,but its not happening again.

I was really depressed at this time and got drunk with some friends in our group and confessed what had happened and eventually the word got out to everyone in our group and to him,obviously at first he tried to tell people I lied but everyone believed me,I was relived but also angry it got out to everyone!

So we did fall out I got blocked on Facebook and snapchat and everything,i saw him twice with a friend when we went back to uni for a night out (its summer break atm) and it was awkward,I wasn't allowed to stay in his bed that night and I watched him all over this girl so me and my friend I was with went to another club and eventually when he realised he wasn't getting any off that random girl that night,me and him went home!

He always used to call me babe and say I love you and I would say it back,I know it was just in a friend type way but it made me so happy,he's the only person who makes me the happiest ever or when he's being a dick can make me feel like I wanna kill myself,and I have tried before.
when we texted the other night I said 'ok well see U soon,night babe love u'
He said 'ok'
I replied 'is ok all I get now' he said 'yep just ok'

But what do I do when I go back to uni,I was just gonna tell him to get with my friend if he likes her that much and keeps trying behind my back its gonna happen sooner or later,or could he possible like me but be scared of it?? I don't know what to do! Maybe iam just crazy?! Help!

Thank you for taking the time to read and for all your advice in advance!
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Aug 21, 2014
Edited Aug 21, 2014
I think you just have to accept that he is bi and try to meet a guy who is boyfriend material. You can't change him so you have to accept it. And don't worry, you'll find someone who will love you. I won't tell you to just get over it, that's easier said than done. I similar thing happened to me in high school, so I'm speaking from my experience. Accept him for who he is and move on. And please don't do anything foolish, all things will pass. Hope this is helpful.
Ubiquitous49
Answered Aug 22, 2014
Ubiquitous49 I know on some level you're right! But its still so confusing, if he is bi that kinda hurts more coz then what?! I'm just too ugly? I never seen to be good enough for anyone,hence the no relationship!

And its not like he's a supermodel,infact he's not my type at all but I don't know,I just love him,I really do! But maybe iam just hideous.
The thought of leaving uni and never seeing him again actually makes my heart ache!
I know it's confusing and really really hurts. This same thing happened to me in high school, so I know how you must feel. And it may not be the the only time you love someone who doesn't return your love. But remember it will pass, trust me on this one. You have to stop beating yourself up and don't leave uni, that solves nothing. I doubt that your ugly, your just blaming yourself because he doesn't return your love. It's not your fault. You will find the right guy, I did! Take care

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