How to check if I am on the banned list in Canada

My boyfriend and I are long distance. I live in Iowa, he lives in Calgary AB. His name is Bryce and we have been dating for 2 and 1/2 years, we are looking to get married within the next year or two. We have filed paperwork under the family act as conjugal partners, for me to become a permanent resident. Bryce had read on the government site that it would take 2 months for the paperwork to be processed, but since most visitors can stay for up to 6 months in Canada, that I could stay as a visitor for those 2 months, until my paperwork went through.
I graduated from college last May and he flew down to get me. We rented a truck with all of my stuff in it and attempted to cross the border. I was denied access and I was banned from re-entering Canada for one year. (It will be one year in May 2015). There are a number of reasons, it seems, that I was banned. (I do not have a criminal history background or anything like that, I've never even had a speeding ticket.) Even though all of our paperwork was complete, we did not submit it because we ran out of time when he got to me in May, and we thought we could bring it along at the border, to show proof of intent, that he and I were serious. They did not like that, for one. They wanted the paperwork to already be in the system. Reason 2) It turns out, it takes 2 YEARS for the permanent residency to be accepted or denied, not 2 months (that's for temporary residents only). And since I had all of my stuff with me, the border patrol did not believe that I was staying only as a visitor. They also denied me access because I own no property in the U.S.(I lived in a college apartment), I was unemployed (I had quit, thinking I was moving), and I have $30,000 following me in student debt (which border patrol accused me of trying to duck out of.) Immediately after leaving the border, (very upset and tired), we found a hotel and submitted the permanent resident paperwork right then and there. Since this has all happened, we have tried to hire an immigration lawyer to help us remove the ban, but they just want to sell us visas and I can't afford to hire one at this time (being unemployed now and all). My boyfriends' mother suggested I talk to an immigration office to see if my name is even listed under the ban list, as she said border patrol sometimes like to issue empty threats to scare you away from returning, but do not actually want to do the paperwork to ban you (especially when the person is not a threat to the country.) But we do not have immigration offices where I live, and no one wants to just answer my questions without charging me outrageous fees. But I need to know that I'm safe to re-enter Canada anyway, next May, this time solely as a visitor, without any of my stuff to bring with me, and with tax documentation that proves America is my home and I will be returning (I intend to make the flight round-trip, also to prove I will return after the 6 months is up if the paperwork has not gone through yet.)
So these are my questions that I need answered. 1. Who do I talk to, to see if my name is even on the ban list? 2. What should I bring with me in May 2015 to prove that I am entering as a visitor with the intention to stay only for 6 months (with no intention to work or sneak in illegally)? 3. Will my name forever have a mark against it, even after the ban is lifted? 4. If, after the ban is lifted and I go to stay with Bryce as a visitor for 6 months, how long must I return to the US for, before being allowed to re-enter Canada? And finally, 5. We felt the fact that my student loan debt and me being unemployed was a major issue as far as being denied entry the first time around. Since being back in the United States, I have started making payments towards my student loan debt, though they are deferred until May of 2015. If I can show proof that I am paying off my loans every month, is that considered good grounds for proving my connection to the US being my home country?

Thank you so much for your help!!!
Asked Aug 10, 2014

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