Need urgent help.Am I getting mad?

Hello to everyone , I am going to share you my story and I hope that someone can help me get out of this situation , in which I am.So I moved to Germany to study german and its going ok , I am from the USA.What I am trying to say is that im detached from my parents.So ive been back 4 times for now and now im again in Ger, and one day I decide to , go to a prostitute , public house . So I went there and we did it but she sucked my **** a few times without condom.Here it all began.I know everything about the damn STDS and so on ... so the next day is ok , the day after I get a little burning sensation on my penis . And I was worried . Saturday I go out with my friends and we smoked weed ( ive done it for like 2 months , total 10-12 times in my life) . The weed wasnt that good and I didnt manage to eat and I felt really bad , then I go back to my plance and I go to sleep and idunno cause of the weed the burning sensation became worse , I couldnt sleep ! At 5 am I go to emergency hospital with taxi and I told them everything , 2 doctorse seperatly looked at it and said that everything was fine and gave me painkillers so I go back to bed and I managed to sleep.(All this time I play like everything is.ok to my parents and my friends , was really hard for me).At sunday everything was better was feeling better and the night I watched the movie grimm and the s01e09 and after that movie , when I had to go to sleep , like a hit from the sky , a damn feeling is crushing me since than.This is my problem guys.Its this damn feeling.Next day I go to a doctor and he said its inside ur head nothing is wrong with ur guy down there . I though it would relieve me but no , this damn feeling is back and back , I shared this with my parents cause though that holding everything inside me and alone was the problem , a small release of the feeling and BAM a though and its back crushing my psychic into peaces , rending my soul reaping me apart.I just cant explain you HOW BAD THIS FEELS.I started feeling numb of life , I just dont enjoy life anymore its like nothing makes me happy anymore im no longer ambisious learning the language , training anything , staying here at all in Germany.I stopped doing anything wrong like weed and going to hookers but no ITS STILL FUCKIN THERE . And do you know what it makes it worse ? The fact that I dont know what it is caused by!Combined with the damn cursed feeling is ripping me appart.I start to ask myself , is it because I smoked marijuana for a little , is it because im always used to have my parents near me when this happens , is it because I read in the internet that we are immortal beeings and if we are I wont be able to get out of this situation no matter what I do , am I going insane , should I go to a psychic threatment , should I take drugs or alchohol , should I hurt myself , should I stop playing games because I just dont like it anymore(i am a gamer) , what the hell is happening to me and what the hell should I do ?! I am a person who was always with his parrents and always controled and I had never problem before to stay alone.Its like my soul is forged into a poo and im transformed into a new person.I feel hopeless useless numb depressed stressed fear and I want to go to sleep all the time just to avoid beeing consious .
Pleace , if anyone can help me , I will be gratefull .
Thank you in advance !
Asked May 26, 2014
Im 19 years old , im not a poor kid and ive always been happy with my life.I had hobies I have friends I go out ....
I probably have no idea of how you feel, but an unknown life-blending feeling like that seems to be a good reason to go to a therapist, you won't lose anything trying and it could help you a lot, I mean, it's their work to help people in situations like yours, don't you think?
Going other way, how come your friends doesn't try to get you happy? I mean, good friends usually it do when they know you're sad without a good reason, maybe you should consider talking to them about this, sometime ago a bit I was depressed and my friends saw me going to cry and they got me much better in a minute, I'm not saying my case was as strong as yours but the tip might apply.
Apart of that, good luck, remember that sometimes your worst enemy is your mind and you've just got to relax and flow with the life.
Answered Jun 07, 2014
Edited Jun 07, 2014

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