Would hire her if she stated the following in her cover letter or not?

Dear Mr. Ghram:

I am interested in applying for the Office Assistant position that Mr. Kimble has available. I am currently working as a part-time Office Professional with QRG, and I am looking to return to the county. I have tested with civil service for the Office Assistant position and I obtained a C grade and I obtained a B grade for the Office Aide position. I have included the Office Aide grade notice; Unfortunately, I misplaced the Office Assistant grade notice.

I have worked for mr. Kimble on and off for the past 3 years as a temporary Office Assistant; I completed data entry. etc.. Mr. Kimble is in need of a Office Assistant and He has stated himself, that he would like for me to come back and work for him. If you would like to contact him and speak with him personally, he can be reached at

I'm very organized, self-starter etc..... I can be reached at .....

I sent him an email with the following statement to try and save myself...

Hello Mr. Ghram,

My name is Sasha Bailon, and I had recently mailed you my resume and cover letter etc for the Office Assistant position that Mr. Kimble is looking to fill. I am writing to let you know that I requested another copy of my grade from QRG for the Office Assistant position, and unfortunately I am unable to obtain another copy, I was told that one copy per exam pupil is allowed. I hope this doesn't exclude me as a candidate for the Office Assistant position. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for your time.


Sasha Bailon

Was that ok?

Asked Feb 03, 2014
Edited Feb 04, 2014
i think thats pretty damn good for a formal letter! I think youll be hired, and I hope it goes well ;) (btw I like your name)
Answered Mar 08, 2014
thx, ive been with the company for 6 months now
and I got a raise after 2 months...so far so good
thanks, it just popped in my head one day

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