Are these memories really bad or am I over reacting?

This hurts a lot just thinking about. Normally I try not to, but today my dad made me remember everything and I couldn't even tell him how I felt because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold my tears and I don't like crying in front of people even my family. Long story short my dad made me say that there are things I did not like in my childhood. Things that I blame him and my brother for. But every time I mention those things them and my mum always say that they don't remember these things (which makes me really mad) or that are just things that happen in every family. So I would like to name some of these things and hopefully you will tell me the truth..if they are minor things or worth being upset over even years later.

First of all my parents never buy me things for christmas or my birthday. They always say they were busy with family problems and that anything I want I should just ask for. I have complained so many times and they always promise they will change and they never do. Last year there were presents under the tree. None was for me but they were all from me... My brother is very aggressive. I know he loves me but he has treated me like shit so many times. When he got mad at me when we were younger he would scream at me or push or even put his hands around my throat trying to strangle me or something. There were times that I would lock in the bathroom coz I was scared. I remember asking my mum to tell him to stop but I somehow cant remember her helping ever. And honestly I think she favours him until today. My brother never helps me willingly and whenever he has to do it he is very cranky and shouts a lot and it feels like if u ask him for one more favour he will punch u or something.
My dad cares too much about how much we work and study. He rarely talks about anything else. It;s always about assignments and grades and never how we are in general. Once before an exam I got upset and started crying and he got mad at me and said that im too sensitive and think that im gonna change the world. I never understood how that came to him. When I was 13 I had to sit exams to get into an international school. I was a bit lazy back then and couldnt study for too long. He got really mad at me one day, threw a pillow on my head and said "why are u even here? you do nothing! you just eat and poop" Please keep in mind that I was only 13 and it felt as if I was supposed to pay rent or something. I was crying for 2 days and only my mum was there for me. My brother agreed with my dad. My dad shouts a lot too. I cant forget how he got really mad at my mum one day and hold her on the floor trying to choke her. I was just standing there screaming and was too scared to stop him. Nowdays I feel so guilty for not hitting him or something and just stood there like a coward. My mum told him how could he have done this in front of his daughter and he said he was gonna talk to me about it.. he never did. Another day he got me a new phone. 2 days later he got mad at my mum again and asked me to go get him cigarettes while he was trying to quit. When I refused he screamed at me saying that if I didnt do as he said he would throw my new phone on my face. Lastly the only thing that involves my mum (apart from the fact that she claims that these things arent important) is something that happened a few years back. I was mad at them for some reason but I blamed my dad mostly. Then he said I dont understand why u always blame me, you're mum gets so mad at u sometimes that she wishes she never had have u. Then I got really upset and my mum thought that by saying: "well ur dad hates u so much sometimes that she wants to brake ur bones on a wall" would make me feel better...
This is it. Sorry for the very long question. tell me if these things arent important please
melee
Asked Sep 21, 2013
None of us get to choose our parents and we can't change them. The only person we can change is ourselves. We have to take what life gave us and go with that. If you dwell on what you didn't get, you will only make your life worse. The answer is to do the best job possible in your studies so that you can get away from them as soon as you can.

Spending your time thinking about what you want is a total waste. None of life's rewards are handed out because of what we want, they come from what we contribute. The secret is to ignore the family squabbles and contribute as much as you can. Life is like a vending machine. The more you PUT IN the slot, the more you GET OUT of the bin at the bottom. You can stand by a vending machine and want for he rest of your life and nothing will come out.

Rob
Answered Sep 22, 2013

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