What steroid and/or testosterone and/or combination is best for a middle aged first time user?

I have worked out and stayed active all my life, but I am now having a hard time maintaining a muscular build and losing fat. My energy is also worsened and my sex drive is almost zero. I am 40 years old and it hit me all of the sudden over the past year. I want a steroid/testosterone/combo option that is ORAL only. I hate shots. I also want something that has little or no side effects. I definitely dont want to lose the hair on my head.
I am frustrated with the COST and the WAIT of seeking options through a doctor. The last doctor's office I called wanted $300 for a consultation and t-test, and approx. 200 a month for testosterone treatments...
Help, please. I dont want to get fat and old.

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