Why do I overthink any physical contact with girls?

I'm like u kno im a romantic guy I guess, when it comes to my feelings n love n falling n love n girls n stuff, but when it comes to the physical contact I'm very awkward. Like I overthink every physical contact with a girl I plan to b romantically involved with. Like even hugging, which is seriously pathetic, cuz htf do u overthink a hug? N kissing, I'm like thinking to deeply trying to figure it out but it prolly shud b easy, but I think I'll mess up n sex, don't even let me start on how much I overthink tht. The only thing I didn't overthink about a girl I like is holding hands, cuz thts really simple, n girls always say I have really soft hands and tht my hands r big n they like my hands. Ok tht was explained more than it needed to b. But everyone tells me I think too hard about everything. My coach even used to tell me I overthink football plays. But when it comes to a girl, I think so hard I discourage n scare myself away from the physical contact, but I really want a gf n all these things etc. N the girl I like is really hot so tht will of course make it harder, cuz tht makes me really really not want to mess up, I think she's startin to develop feelins for me too. But idk its jus overcomplicated. So y do I have to think so much n all these other super dumb guys jus get thes girls n all this? but idk how to jus take it easily. I'm gettin really frustrated about this too, so yea plz help.
Asked Mar 02, 2013
Edited Mar 02, 2013
What you write sounds like an actor trying to perfect his portrayal of a character he is playing as if it is possible to turn a perfect performance. But relationships aren't an act. The perfect performance is to be able to relax and be yourself. To have a long term relationship with a girl both of you have to accept each other as you are and have fun together, today.

I suspect what you are doing both in football and with the girls is driven by a fear that you will make a mistake. That fear is what you need to work on. Try to make your best effort at anything you do and beyond that, there is a point where you have to just be yourself, accept the outcome and move on. When you analyze everything on the fly, it just doesn't work.

Try to live by the principle of, "always do the right thing" and after that, make your time with a date or on the football field as much fun as you can and that's all it takes.
Answered Mar 02, 2013

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