I don't understand what's happening? Help!

I'm 17 and my boyfriend is 18. We've been dating for almost 2 years. We share the same religion and the same moral principles and ideas about life. This is something we both consider extremely important and vital to a relationship. So far, our relationship has had very few obstacles. We get along very well, and have many things in common. I understand we are young, but we are both very serious about our future. 

All that being said, recently I have noticed some flaws in our relationship that I cannot seem to overlook. First, the intelligence difference between us is proving to be difficult to overcome. I often find myself craving higher intellectual conversation than he can offer. I'm not intending to sound snotty, he's not unintelligent (to put it in perspective, scored a 32 on the ACT, he scored an 18). Anyways, because of this, I continually find myself bored with him. It doesn't help that I have recently become closer friends with another male, whose intelligence is much higher, and I find talking to him very enjoyable. Second, I find myself constantly irritated with the little things he does/doesn't do. He doesn't open doors and doesn't act much like a gentleman. He does hurt me (we have a rough relationship and sometimes mess around and wrestle), and is not careful of being gentle with me. He doesn't pick up on things that bother me very well, and he often misunderstands me. Third, he is very sentimental and emotional, and I am not. He exaggerates everything to mean something significant (even small things such as using one word instead of another). I, on the other hand, am more carefree with what I say and do and need someone who is not too critical of my actions. Finally, he is overprotective and jealous to the extreme. He doesn't even like me texting another guy. This is a huge problem, especially because we are do young. I need freedom to experience the world, and with college soon, I don't want to regret being so firmly tied down that I can't have a good time.

I want my relationship with him to last. He is a great guy, and I really love him. I mentioned something to him about wanting to experience life and having a small desire to know what life was like without him before settling down (which we plan to do after college). He was distraught by that idea, and kept asking if I wanted a break. I keep telling him no, but in the back of y mind I wonder if that's what I need? I don't want to risk losing this relationship, but I'm afraid to commit without experiencing life without him. I'm afraid there could be something better, but I'm afraid to risk losing him if there's not. What should I do?
Anonymous14
Asked Oct 28, 2012
The purpose of dating is to sort out the possibilities. This is really saying that the sorting process is working. You have gained enough experience to better understand what you want in a partner. You don't have to kick your boyfriend to the curb, just make him understand your relationship isn't permanent and he should view it in the same light.

That doesn't say that guy #2 is perfect for you either, it just says you are far from being ready to make any long term choices. When you find the right guy for you there will be no doubts.
Rob
Answered Oct 29, 2012
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Clarkson74
Answered Dec 03, 2020

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