My self confidence is at an all time low.

Hi, I'm 16 years old and I have very, very low self confidence. I have a very rare DNA defect/condition which means I put on weight easily I am currently 24st and have lost a little bit but not much. I'm going back to 6th form in September and my current school had merged with another. Many of the people at the school we are merging with bullied me terribly in primary school to the point where I tried to commit suicide. It was extremely difficult for me to make friends when I went to secondary school, I don't trust people not to make fun of me when I'm not there, see. I have a best friend now and I love her so much, we're like sisters and I can trust her with anything at all. I don't mean to be nasty or mean but neither of us are "conventionally" pretty but s I worry so much that I'm never going to find a man who will want me. When I was in year 7 I had a horrible prank played on me where my closest friend at the time told me a boy I liked wanted to go out with me. Stupidly I fell for it and when he came up to me he said, and I will never forget this it hurt so much, "I would never touch you and neither will any man in his right mind". My heart broke, not because he didn't like me but because I kind of knew that nobody would like me. I accepted this but the older I'm getting the more I like boys and because of that I feel extremely uncomfortable around men and avoid them at all costs. I am going on a sort of GCSE celebration with my best friend next Saturday and I'm dreading going with her because she is going to look really beautiful and whenever I stand next to her I genuinely feel like some sort of monster or like Quasimodo (I think I've spelled that right). I'll just look awful. I've tried to be a little bit more daring with my clothes, I've bought a denim skirt which goes above the knee and a tankini. I'm an operatic singer too and musical singer and now I've just found out my best friend is getting singing lessons also, she is a completely different genre (pop) and I'm even doubting my singing skills now; I know it sounds stupid but all of these little things affect me. I would never hurt a fly or purposely hurt anyone. I know how it feels to be bullied. I just feel like I've hit an all time low with my self confidence and need some serious adivce, please. Like I say I'm specifically worried about never finding anyone who will want me. I'm sorry this is so long and whiney but I need some help. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
God bless. X
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Aug 07, 2012
You will never be able to get where you want to go by constantly comparing yourself to others. Nobody gets anywhere that way. We are all very different and our accomplishments come from working hard at making the most out of the assets we have.

Your weight is a health issue, it in no way means your life will be anything but totally fulfilled. Somewhere out there right now there's a boy dealing with his problems just like you are, you just have to find each other. Forget what you don't have and apply all of your energy to perfecting what you do have.

Probably the most loved singer in the history of the US was a woman who was far from beautiful and was overweight all of her life. Listen to the reception Kate Smith gets when invited to sing at the opening of a hockey game at the link below. The difference is attitude. She always saw the cup as half full, never half empty. Your problem isn't your weight or what your friends look like, it's your outlook. Just work hard and be yourself and you will be fine.



Answered Aug 07, 2012
Edited Aug 07, 2012
Pull your shoulders back and think to yourself I am beautiful
Answered Mar 18, 2014
First find out what is you true self and then you will realize that low self confidence is not possible !!!
Answered Aug 12, 2018
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Answered Aug 16, 2018

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