Pls check my admission essay for errors

I believe that pursuing studies at the Niagara Christian Community of Schools would help me a lot in getting a licensure work in computer engineering and pursuing higher goals in education in the future. I believe in this school because it pursues and promotes world-class research, an interdisciplinary synthesis of humanistic, professional, scientific and technical knowledge. I have heard of how the school seeks to reach a level of excellence in its research and teaching programs that have earned for it a place among the most prestigious academic institutions. I think that the undergraduate studies I got give me a well-rounded education that cultivates genuine intellectual discipline, which is a pre-requisite to acquiring higher specialized knowledge.

I don't just want to be another student who goes to class and studies routinely. I want to contribute my talents and skills to the school. I think everyone coming from a religious school possesses a good foundation in solid morals and principles.

My belief in God has certainly made me a very secure and well-adjusted person. It has also helped me relate to others and value things other than money. I believe that helping others, whether it be with homework or with real life issues, is extremely important to one's well-being. I have always been active in the community. For three years I volunteered at a cyber cafe centre and loved every minute of it. Although I was too young to be employed there, I still wanted to include myself in any way I could. I can assure you that I will proudly take advantage of any opportunity I have to participate in any way at this college.

This is the reason why I am applying at Niagara Christian Community of Schools. I learned that the college adheres to the premise that professional excellence today demands ever-increasing specialization. The specialized programs in this school will carve out a career path and profession as a specialist for me. I have seen the different subjects and I realize that the program provides a solid grounding in the philosophy of education, people development, the dynamics of teaching, research and management. It will also give me the opportunity to apply and test my learning through various educative experiences. I am already quite excited in studying at this college. I know now that along with a quality education, I will also take home new experiences. I hope I will have many opportunities to share my experiences and beliefs with others and also to become a more knowledgeable and accomplished person.

My current goals are, of course, to remain actively involved in the community. Recently, I volunteered at capital science computer studies, not just to help out, but to prove that I want a career in computer engineering. Currently, I am enrolled at Pace Setters College with a full course load. Right now I am focusing a little more on preparing for college, and my other areas of interest like reading, playing games, and spending time with my family.

Indeed, I know that this School creates a critical mass of excellently-formed development educators especially in the field of engineering. They eventually serve as catalysts for the institutionalization of a culture of excellence in various educational settings. The atmosphere of freedom is evident because it promotes the integral development of all members of the school community so that one senses that they work with good will, competence and team spirit. I have begun preparing myself for this. I hope I will have many opportunities to share my experiences and beliefs with others and also to become a more knowledgeable and accomplished person. I can only imagine what my fellow students and professors will teach me at Niagara Christian Community College.
Asked Dec 08, 2011
Go through it and check your spelling. Look at "...getting a licensure work in computer..." for example. Should be "getting a license to work..."

Shouldn't, "and pursuing higher goals" be "and pursue higher goals?"

Look for places that have too many words. For example, can't, "that have earned for it a place..." be simplified to, "That have earned a place?"

Make sure the informal first person is acceptable for the essay. If they want a formal essay, all of the I, me, and my should be rewritten. For example the "I believe that..." in the first sentence.
Answered Dec 08, 2011
Edited Dec 08, 2011
Essay writing is a challenging task for many students. You should submit your essay without ant grammatical error. Editing the essay for removing the errors is equally important to writing an essay. It is not so easy to make an essay error free. There are so many online writing and editing services are available. It is better to choose one among them by confirming the legitimacy of it. For more details read:
Answered Nov 12, 2013
You can utilize the proof editing facility of any good essay writing company.Also you can buy your essay for excellent content quality.
Answered Nov 22, 2013
Writing an essay is always be a toughest task in the academic life of most of the students. The students have to struggle well for completing the essay as a successful one. You can see number of admission essay writing service in the web and so they are providing the editing and proof reading services to their customers and so you can use one of them.
Answered Apr 13, 2015

TIP: If it's not your answer to this question, please click "Leave a Comment" button under the question to communicate with the question owner.