Is my 13 year old son gay?

For the last 3-4 yrs. my son, now 13, has had crushes on a few girls...pretty strong crushes..(the last one was just last summer) Last night he tells me thinks he is gay because a boy in his class makes him have an erection when he looks at him. He also has become friends recently with a gay teenage boy,who is almost 17 yr. old. I think this 17 yr. old likes my son. My son is masterbating allthe time...which I told him is quite normal. He thought doing that meant he was gay too.
I told him that getting an erection easily is very common with teenage boys too. I also told him that all of this does not make him gay...and that if he was..I'd love him anyway. I am worried that he is making a quick judgement on being gay...I think he is too young to know right now and is experimenting. If you saw how he acted when he liked these would know why I feel this way. What do you think? gay or not? I think he should see how he feels as he gets older. Maybe he is bisexual?
Asked Mar 02, 2011
I think the best thing here would be to have a sit down one to one conversation about how sexuality is not all black and white. You have to realise that he is a teenager, his hormones will be going crazy and he will be extremely confused at the moment. If you don't want to talk to him take him to a sexual health expert or therapist if he is not handling it very well but my final words to you are just please, please be patient and gentle with him. He needs your support right now x I hope this helped.
Answered Mar 02, 2011
Thanks...we are very close and I want to stay this way. Trying to be be very supportive. Thanks for your comments.
That is perfectly ok.
12-13 is at the very beginning of discovering who you are sexually. The advantage of not putting labels on yourself at that age is that you don't have to remove the labels later on if you learn it no longer describes you. The best advice for your son is to just be himself until the time comes when there is no doubt in his mind what the label should say.
Answered Jun 25, 2013
sallam,tell ur son all tht things r not good 4 his health,tell him tht complete ur study first if u get higher edu u got every thing.
Answered May 30, 2011
What the hell are you talking about?
lol I know ritee...whatt??? any way I think that ur son is simply at a difficult stage in life, it most like is just his hormones, then again it may not be...n yes tell him that its perfectly normal...what he chooses to be no matter what is all great...i know ull still be there for him...ur a great mom... :)
Answered May 31, 2011
Maybe your son is bi-sexual who knows, I used to get erections in class too when I was a round my mates, cos there was something about them that got me aroused, but you are right in saying its a teenage thing with mr winky popping up and down like god knows what when your that young. I know hes your son, but if you are concerned about him being gay, then maybe having him around the 17 year old is not such a good idea, as he has already made up his mind what he is, besides with your son being 13 if anything should happen sexually it is illegal.... Just let your son be who he is and don't interferr, my parents did that I hated them for it.
Answered Jun 16, 2011
he gets boners around guys and girls thats normal take him away from the 17yo
Answered Oct 21, 2011
If it is too early for him to know if he is gay or not, be patient and he will sort it out. Counseling might be helpful. You've done the best thing by reassuring him of your love, no matter what. That makes you his touchstone as he goes through this confusion, and you can be of immense help to him. Keep him away from the 17 year-old, though. It isn't a matter of being gay, it is a matter of child molestation if there is sexuality between an early teen and a 17 year old. He doesn't need that added problem. See if you can find a young peoples group guided by a professional that explores sexuality. DO NOT TAKE HIM TO A FUNDAMENTALIST GAY CURE GROUP, if he really is gay, it could cause terrible harm to him.
Answered Feb 03, 2012
He's not gay
Answered Dec 28, 2012
Well,their's a 50/50% chance that he mat be gay or he's probably in the middle,but,if he is gay,make sure that he doesn't be on an gay dating site for older teens or else,he will met them in person and they probably will have gay sex with him.Keep him away from older teens,tho.But,he needs to date people who's more closer to his age (12-14) and don't let him have gay sex,until,he's 15 or 16.O.K.That's all I have to say,see ya!!!
Answered Apr 17, 2013
Answered Apr 17, 2013
No body but your son can really answer this question. He might be straight, gay, or even bisexual. But you won't know he's sure himself. But it might help if he's expertmenting. If he's comfortable with boys in "that" way he's most likely bi
Answered Apr 18, 2013
He might be gay or he might not. The sexual orientation spectrum isn't always as black or white as we want it to be and, as others said, he is at that age where the wind blowing will give him an erection. This is a very confusing time for him. Just feel grateful that he feels comfortable enough to talk to you about this stuff. Most kids don't have that luxury.

As for the 17 year old, be cautious but not reactive. If you try to split them apart, he's likely to rebel. Perhaps you could get him to a LGBT youth drop-in if there's one in your area? After all, there's a "Q" in the LGBT alphabet now that stands for questioning, which there's no doubt your son is, and it would give him the opportunity to meet supportive youth closer to his age.
Answered Apr 27, 2013
Answered Jun 25, 2013
he sounds gay
Answered Jul 17, 2013
Now knowing from my friend the way he acted and told me this same concept he liked boys and girls in the past and he turned out to be bi sexual this
Was because he was confused at a young age and claimed he was gay then the next year he was straight and on and on and on this confused him into liking both gender and he thought it was how things like this worked he hung around older people he liked wich almost ended badly keep him away from the older people and if he is bi sexual so long as other people his age are it should be fine and he shall live a good life
Answered Jul 26, 2013
He might be gay. That is so sad.
You need to tell him:
"God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."
It isn't gross, it is sad.
Well, it is both.
But, your'e son needs to know that liking boys bieng a boy is is a sin. If he wants to love men he can go to Hell, but ma'am, your son needs to choose. He needs to like girls, or like no one. He may be bisexual, but that is not good either.
He needs to loose this gay friend- he might be tricking him into being gay. And plus, he is almost an adult, and he could be telling him bad things.
"A parent isn't supposed to be a child's best friend. A parent is given to raise the child in the Lord."
And you should. It isn't all the way your fault- it is at the same time. If you wouldn't have let him get a gay friend, then, that wouldn't have happened.
But tell your son. Right. Away. He will burn in Hell.
Answered Aug 10, 2013
I think its just a phase. Its okay that he has this gay friend. I thoght I was gay to but then I realized that I was wrong because I've liked guys my whole life most people o through this phase in there life. Just tell him that "everything will be fine just because you think you are doesn't mean you truly are its just a phase"
Answered Aug 19, 2013
No matter how old you are, family history is important. While you might not think so at the time, as you get older there will be things you and your grandchildren will want to know. Most of us don't realize it until the older generations are gone and you can't replace first hand comments. Don't just put in about the good times, add in the harder times and how you overcame those trials. Another thing to remember is what caused the deaths of those you loved. There are many things that have been found to continue into future generations that knowing it runs in the family can be helped with now or possible in the future. prevention starts with knowing where to start. I wish someone had taken the time to write these things down for mew to be able to go back to. My Grandmother and my mother told us many stories of what things happened in their lives and about the people in their lives. I now wish someone had written those things down since both have passed now. But I never thought at that busy point in my life that I would one day want to remember all those things. So much family history is lost when the older generations are gone. Please pass it on to your family while you can. You can even just do it digitally so it can be accessed by family later on.Family pictures are something to cherish also. Just be sure to write down who is pictured in them, where they are taken and when. I have found family pictures that no one now even knows who is in them.

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Answered Feb 03, 2019
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