How do you keep a relationship going with someone who lives in a whole other town

how do you keep a relationship going with someone who lives in a whole other town?
helpme77
Asked Feb 17, 2011
Have you considered setting up an Internet video phone connection?
Rob
Answered Feb 17, 2011
My now-husband and I lived 3000 mile apart for 2.5 years. It gave us an opportunity to be grateful for each other. The biggest benefit was that we really learned to communicate. The talking--and especially the emotional intimacy we experienced as a result--is what kept our relationship going, and growing, with 3000 miles between us. I think we're stronger and closer because of it.

When I moved, we had only been together for a year. I was very afraid the distance would be a greater challenge than our relationship could withstand. I had to learn to deal with my insecurities. The longing I had for him sometimes drove me crazy and at times the loneliness was unbearable. I had to learn to deal with that as well. In the end, I think it made me stronger, more self-sufficient, more comfortable with myself, more confident... I really think I grew.

So, I'd say learn to talk and learn to trust.

And get creative. You could do things like send love letters in the mail. Or, have a standing weekly phone date to watch a favorite tv show or movie together on the phone; Hulu and Netflix are great for that. Bake cookies and mail them. Play games together online. Stargaze together in your separate towns. You can have fun long distance dates. Search online for ideas.

"Get well soon" care packages of cold medicine, tissues, cough drops, fuzzy socks, etc. were a hit when either of us was sick. We'd read the same book and talk about it. We'd send each other links to interesting online articles and talk about those too. He'd leave me cheery messages on my voicemail so I could listen to a pick-me-up if I was down and couldn't get him on the phone. He was my wakeup call EVERY morning, and he told me goodnight every night when it was his bedtime; we loved starting and ending our days together. He'd treat me to dinner by calling to order me delivery take-out from a restaurant here. If one of us needed something, we'd shop online together so we felt like we were taking care of each others' material needs. Once he sent me a "little" something from Victoria's Secret with a note that said, "Can't wait to see you in this and ONLY this." The next week, I sent him a clown nose and pool flippers with the same note! We got pretty good at practical jokes.

There was something about phone sex that made him sleepy (LOL!) so that never worked for us, but it could be hot for you if you're old enough. And never do that on online video chat... It could come back to haunt you big time. We learned that sex was not the same as closeness or love. That was a HUGE plus.

One thing I did that was really helpful was learn when NOT to listen to what my girlfriends had to say about my long distance romance. Most of the time, they only made me paranoid. Many of them had bad long distance experiences, although mainly because they were in them with men who didn't respect them in the first place; those relationships wouldn't have survived even if they weren't long distance.

Here are some sites with advice:

50 Ways to Make Long Distance Dating Easier
http://www.10bestfreedatingservices.com/blog/2008/11/50-ways-to-make-long-distance-dating-easier/

20 Reasons Why Long Distance Dating Can Totally Rock
http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-20-reasons-why-long-distance-dating-can-totally-rock/

Skype is great. It's free to talk, chat, and video chat.

Big love. Good luck.
skyDancer
Answered Feb 18, 2011
Edited Jul 01, 2012

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