Need advice on boyfriend's family

My boyfriend lives by himself and I have a male roommate, whom he does not like. He refused to sleep at my place until I move (which I had planned to do anyway) and after a long discussion felt this was a fair agreement. However, he then tells me a couple weeks later there is a possibility his sister may be moving in with him to finish her senior year of high school. He has been supporting his moter and sister financially, and believes this is the best thing for his family. My reaction concerns me, because rather than think what a great person he is for unselfishly helping his family, I honestly felt resentment. I began to wonder how controlling his mother was (who calls him daily and says that his financial help is not enough and he should be contributing more). I felt that his family was being very controlling and I am wondering what I have myself in the middle of. My parents would never put that sort of pressure on me (he is 24). I do not understand this. Am I overreacting? Do I have any right to feel this sort of feelings and fear of her moving in? I'm freaking out!! What is wrong with me?? Is this behaviour from his family unacceptable? Any insight here would help so much!
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Aug 07, 2010
Edited Aug 07, 2010
If he believes this "is the best thing for his family" there's nothing unacceptable about that. That also sounds like he's not making the decision under pressure but is willing to do it. Your statement, "My parents would never put that sort of pressure on me" sounds like you have more than one parent which may be a completely different financial situation than his.

People sometimes have to take in members of their families for all kinds of reasons. That is what families are about. Often wives or husbands contribute to the support of their spouse's family. That is the way marriage works. My suggestion would be to ask yourself what would cause you to freak out over your boyfriend helping his younger sister? That is his life. This is an opprotunity for you to figure out whether you want to be part of it or not.

Answered Aug 08, 2010
Edited Aug 08, 2010

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