How long can a kitten hold it's breath for?

Asked Jun 09, 2010
They call you sick, but it's only because their tiny intellects can't grasp the magnitude of your undertaking. Why you're adding to the pool of human wossaname, innit?? That's a fine thing to do. All great scholars and scientists have had their work mocked and shows you're on the right path.
PS: If you do evolve some aquatic kittehs can I have a ginger one?
Eartha Jul 27, 2010
nice bit of sarcasm (at least I hope so) people do jump to conclusions sometimes. try letting them wade in shallow watter first.
Answered Jun 17, 2010
I don't know what you mean. How can it be sarcastic to a science?
All of our bases is belong to Science. One day, all of the people will be science too. Of this I am certain.
What kind of sick #@$%! are you???? And for that matter, the other idiots that answered! I hope you're not abusing this poor defenseless animal.
Answered Jun 10, 2010
Actually, I'm trying to get them to swim, but I keep running out of kittens!
what the heck? what do you mean, "running out of kitens"????? I hope your not killin them to get tem to swim???
I am doing a science on them! Not simply drowning them. I have no interest in seeing them drown, I'm trying to see how quickly evolution can get them swimming like sea kittens. If I was to interfere with the experiment, then the results would be flawed, and that really would be pointless, wouldn't it?
Everyone agrees, that using a proper science, a Cat can be both dead, and alive at any given time. That has been proved using quantums. So using Schrodinger's
model of quantum causality, any casualty of this experiment, is just as not dead, as it is dead. Which negates any eigenstate you can hang on the kitten. I didn't have to use Schrodingers model at all, but I wanted the parameters of the results, to fall between "Swimming" and "No longer swimming". Not "dead kitten" or "live kitten"!
I'm not a fuckin' monster!
Please can I take just a little peep at kitteh? Afterall it won't really matter in the scheme of things what's the worst that can happen we could get a pair of slippers out of it if its a tarten cat.

In answer to your question "Not long" I asked my dad
Answered Jun 18, 2010
Edited Jun 18, 2010
umm maybe you should wait until they are a bit older but now and then but then in the water a lil bit dont let them go!! hold them and gently go I and out of the water then months later see and test it out but dont "run out of kittens"
Answered Jul 17, 2010
But the whole point is to gets then to evolve, not teach them to swim! The ones that swim the whole way back from the middle of the pond, gets to breed, and the ones that don't, well, they don't. Then (according to the premise of the science I are doing) In four generations, the kittens should show a marked improvement in their ability to swim, having inheritsing the gene from their swimming parent. In twenty generations I will has a distict sub-species of swimming or water cat. Like a dolphin, but with fur. Perhaps.
why would ya even prsure cats in that way why if your that interested...i mean come on .....this subject is a bit twisted so....i suggest you stop or u will be caught and charged with animal abuse....
thats not cool if they dnt they dnt...... what if you was the kitten????? life is a gift and its just like take a life.
I think there is a batter way to do your project but you just dnt have a heart to do it.... but thats just what I think
Answered Jul 17, 2010
OK then Proffessor Pissflaps, what's your batter way of doing it ?? Puppys?
Babbys? Because I'm pretty sure I gots all the angels covered here.
But by all means, let us heer it, . . . . . . .
umm how about not doing it at all you sicko, leave them alone and give them to someone who actually has a heart!
he is a sicko. u really need help baby
Your experiment says more about the evolution of humans than cats. It's often better to keep your mouth closed and have everybody think you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

Answered Jul 17, 2010
Oh right, and you're a Rocket Scientist then are you? No? Didn't think so.
Got any better ideas?
This isn't about rockets. You have no more of an idea of who I am than I have of who you are. I'm only going by what you have written.

Your statement, "trying to see how quickly evolution can get them swimming" demonstrates you don't have any idea what evolution is. Evolution is a process that takes place over many generations where living things adapt to changes in the environment that effect the entire species. The members of the species that are capable of surviving the change are able to breed and the ones that can't survive it, will die. As a result, over many generations the species will evolve into a form where all can live with the environmental change.

A better idea for a science experiment to demonstrate evolution would be to observe the effect that trash dumps and fast food parking lots are having on seagulls and predict the effect that will have on the species.
Rob Jul 18, 2010
But I hate Seagulls! Nasty squawking shitehawks, the lot of them. I don't care if all the Seagulls get poisoned to death by burgers and KFC. Or buried in Landfill sites. It's funny to throw them bits of bread, soaked in "Easy Start", and watch them fall out of the sky.
I think everything you say is B.S. You seem more interested in maintaining your bad boy image than working with science or evolution. :-)
Rob Jul 27, 2010
umm first off , you may think that its a "science project" but a kitten should not be used as one, look it up on the net don't try it, what you are doing is classified as animal abuse, a kitten can not swim and cats hate water what are you thinking? its sick people like you who use innocent animals as a form of entertainment that belong behind bars, do something more productive with your life then killing kittens, you are an embarrassment to "science" I should call the animal control on you, yes you might not live where I live but I am very smart with computers and I can find out who you are and you deserve to be charged, your acting like your so smart, if your so smart then you would no what you are doing is extremely wrong. And cats will not evolve into swimmer kittens? and you like science ??? what do you expect them to grow fins.. I cannot believe I am even reading this.
Answered Jul 17, 2010
oe noez, not the cyber police!
lol see that's how I no your not as smart as you're pretending to be, because there are plenty of ways to get caught over the internet. and learn how to spell maybe and then you can say your into "science" I could very well, report your msg and the site will look into it causes you to be removed from this site so you cannot ask such stupid and horrid questions and if they feel the need they will contact the police. Grow up and get a life leave the animals alone. What your doing is the same thing as putting a new born baby in the water to swim across a pond would they be able to do it no so why would a kitten be able to. grow up and if this is a joke you have serious issues.
Oh have a look at the big picture will you people? I am trying to help the whole species, bring a whole new environment to them! And also to probe deeper into the way species evolve! That can only be a good thing. And for your information, new born babies are perfectly at home in an environment of water. After all, they just spent the last nine months suspended in amniotic fluid, (which is 97.8% water) and can swim just fine. As for your sentimental wibbling about the 'poor kittens', I can't afford to let sentiment sway me. I'm doing a science! Now will someone actually answer the question?!
People are so narrow minded innit? No wonder Galileo had all that trouble. No one wants to move forward do they?
Answered Jul 18, 2010
No. Anyway, I just got another dozen kittens delivered, so now I can start phase two. Watch this space.
I'm wondering if water temperature would make any difference. This batch, I'm going to start with fresh kittens, and a water temperature of 1 degree above. Then, increase the temperature by 10 degrees, for each successive kitten, until I find the optimum temperature to encourage them to swim for longer. This way, I will use less kittys (In the long run) because I will have perfected the best swimming conditions for them.
Nah, that didn't make any difference. and now I'm out of Kittens again. Maybe if I 'medicated' them with some kind of a stimulant they might swim for longer. I'll give that some thought. More Kittens delivered on Thursday. Two dozen this time. And in case anyone was wondering, I have a friend at an Animal Shelter, and he assures me that these kittens would all have been put to sleep anyway.
At least this way, they get put to a good use.
The "good use" will happen when you and your stupid friend get locked up for animal abuse. Michael Vick's millions didn't keep him and his buddies out of the slammer and neither will your misguided science fantasy. There's no difference.
Rob Jul 26, 2010
alright badbeast this is incredibly sick. I would rather see them be put to sleep quickly then hear of the kittens drowning because of your sick experiment. there are many other ways to study evolution. ones that dont involve killing innocent animals. I hope you have fun in jail because this is animal abuse and I could easily report this to the administrator of the site. he can get your email address, contact the police with it, and have your sick ass arrested for this atrocity.
Answered Jul 27, 2010
I picked up my E.U Science Research Grant today, (What, do you think Kittens are cheap?) so I can have the downstairs Lab at the University Until Chrismas. I suddenly have so many more options, I can do the oxygen reduction research now too, to find what the minimum % oxygen, to sustain life.
Then reducing this % by small increments of perhaps 1 or 2% As the subject becomes acclimatized to the rarified atmosfear, the 02 level is dropped accordingly. Eventually we should be able to isolate the genome for sustained anoxia. After maybe four or five generations, we should have a 'subject' that is no longer dependent upon O2 to sustain viable awareness, motor and brain funtion, operationalal Limbic system etc. These will enable us to send these 'Spacecats' to Mars, and see if the experiment has produced a viable genetic marker for mapping, If we, Mankind can Isolate the gene, using my Eugenics Program, then we can finally take to the Stars! We could be living offworld in maybe 30-40 yrs. That is way cool enough justification for my research! Now do you see how important my work is? Well, do you?
I think everything you say is bullshit. You're more interested in maintaining your bad-boy image than science or evolution. :-)

Like many others, I fell for your story because I had the mental picture of a demented teenager in his back yard drowning cats. Where you screwed up was when you said you had received a grant. Research money is hard to come by and the people who hand it out have a clear understanding of evolution. They know you couldn't possibly make an evolutionary change in cats over two hundred years, let alone a few dozen cats in six months.

You're busted!
Rob Jul 27, 2010
Research money isn't hard to find, if you are doing an important science like this. With far reaching implications for the whole Planet.

And the EU are particularly interested in re branding their Space Program, and pushing the boundaries of research into new and wonderful directions. So nice try . And I don't have a "Bad Boy" Image. If you only knew how very much I don't care about image, you might be less blinded by your own disapproval. If you don't have anything helpful to say, then with all due respect, STFU. I have imp[ortant stuff to do.
I'm not, "blinded," I just think you're future isn't in research, it's in writing Science Fiction if you could get your facts straight. :-)
Rob Jul 28, 2010
This is 100% NOT "science" it is called Animal Abuse! What if you were that baby kitten huh? Would you want to be experminted on which could cause you your life?! I say you stop doing this or else when you expire, God will punish you. You may or may not believe it but you will get punished!
Answered Mar 09, 2011
OMG, you really are a sick fuck, I hope you and Dr BadBeast (If that's even his real name) are called to account for your hideous and demented crimes. If it was down to me, I'd stab you full of holes, and leave you in the street so that stray dogs could hump your wounds "better". For science. You are worse than Josef Mengeles when he sewed twins together and injected their eyeballs with petrol to see if it made them more resistant to being frozen to death, then boiled back to life again. I hope a greased Badger crawls up your arse while you sleep, and gnaws your spine to little bits of bony grit, and fills your lungs up with horrible Badger piss. But that would be cruel to the Badger.

If I knew where you lived, I'd fill my car boot up with broken bottles, bundle you into it, and then take you for a long, bumpy drive to the middle of nowhere, then peg you out over the biggest Wood Ant nest I could find, smear marmalde or lemon curd all over you, and video you as the Ants slowly strip every bit of flesh from your worthless bones.

Then upload the video to YouTube as an example to other mad Scientists. Not for gratuitous jollies though, rather just as a reminder them to always remember compassion and science are not mutually exclusive. Don't mess with the Cat people. Be kind to kittens.
Answered Jan 21, 2018
Edited Jan 21, 2018
I don't have much idea about the time for which a kitten can hold their breath. But all I can say is that, it is not required to search for some ways as its upto them and there is no such need for searching such options for. Even though you want to know about this .
Answered Jan 22, 2018
Edited Jan 22, 2018
Answered Aug 26, 2018
Not abuse if it's research, I'm afraid. And it's legal! We're totally allowed to abuse animals for science in England! And if God gave a rat's arse, he'd punish me now, to save the rest of the kittens! *Stupid Dog* Might branch out soon, see how long a Puppy can hold it's breath for.
Answered Mar 09, 2011
You'll all be pleased to know that BadBeast has got his Doctorate in Behavioural Psychology, and Is now Director of Corrective Behavioural Alignment in one of the UK's busiest Secure Institutions for Juvenile Delinquents. And though his pro-active approach to humanising these poor unfortunate children, is considered by many to be harsh or even brutal, his progressive techniques have made a considerable difference in re-offending levels (within the internal disciplinary dynamic of the Institution)
Slerp Oct 18, 2011

I have just taken on the bulk of Dr Beast's research projects, and while I shall be following his experiments with meticulous attention to detail, I will not necessarily be working within the exacting parameters his approach to his work demanded of him. Thank you for your useful input re Dr Beast's methods anyway. Please feel as free to add your opinions with me here at the helm, just as you were with Dr Beast.
Slerp Oct 18, 2011
After a great deal of snooping around, I found Dr BadBeast's Facebook account. Here's the link, send him some love.

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