Is below sentence grammatically correct?

Dear Sirs,
I am an English teacher living in Mashhad city , Iran. Please let me know if the use of "borrows" in the below sentence is grammatically correct or not. Is this sentence meaningful?

"One of the first civilizations that Islam came into contact with during and after its birth was that of Persia Islamic architecture borrows heavily from Persian architecture and in many ways can be called an extension and further evolution of Persian architecture."

Thanks in advance for your cooperation.

Regards,
Reza bayani
Teacher

Your sentence is really long and needs commas.

"One of the first civilizations that Islam came into contact with during and after its birth was that of Persia. Islamic architecture borrows heavily from Persian architecture, and in many ways can be called an extension, and thus a further evolution of the Persian architectural style."

That period should really be in there, they're two separate sentences and ideas. That comma is kinda needed, and I fixed up the last bit there to make it flow a little better.

And yes, you used "borrows" correctly.