This is probably going to sound like really lame advice, but just take a chill pill so to speak. You're so worried about what everyone thinks that you turned a simple question into an entire paragraph. "Don't think of me as conceited, I'm sorry for making this so long, I'm not suicidal, I'm not saying I'm more important than anyone else..." Blah blah blah. Just chillllllllll. This is a help website, you're here asking for help. We're not here to judge you, we're here to answer you. Besides, what would you care what I think of you? You don't know me, I don't know you, chances are absolutely astronomical that we'll ever meet. I'm just some guy in another place on this planet who is here to reply to your inquiries. Anyways... When someone says something nice to you, just shut up and take the damned compliment. I hate it when I say something nice to someone (especially a girl), like, "You're pretty." and they go, "No I'm not." or accuse me of lying or something. Not everyone is on this earth to deceive you. The most important thing is to get a group of friends whom you can trust to tell it to you like it is. All my friends never accuse me of lying, because I simply don't lie. I don't care what others think. If a girl says to me, "Does this dress make me look fat?" and I think it does, I'm going to say, "Yes." I don't sugar coat anything, and I think the whole world would be a much better place if everyone else followed the example I lead. Anyways, you don't need everyone's approval all the time. 90% of the world are a bunch of drooling moronic slack jawed idiots. The queen of the fools, is still a fool. You don't want everyone to like you (you just think you do). Besides, you can only please some of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time. If you pretend to like football to get one guy to like you, someone else is going to dislike you, either for pretending to be something that you're not, or for liking football, because I for example, hate both of those things, masquerading, and sports. Moving on... What you described does not fulfill the requirements of being a masochist, so you're basically just in denial about yourself and how great (or maybe sucky, I don't really know you) you are as a person. As for decisions, just suck it up and accept the consequences. Life revolves around 50/50 chances. Your entire fate can, and will change with the flip of a coin. Just shut your eyes tight and dive right into to this crazy whirlpool we call the real world. There are certain things that even I don't leave up to chance, however that doesn't apply to decision making so much as actions. For example: I was helping my dad remodel his store, and there were these lights I just couldn't get to screw into the wall, so instead of forcing it, I asked my dad if he could do it instead, saying I didn't want to break something. Well he tried it, and he stripped the screw, broke the light, and poked a hole into the wall. See what I did there? Now he can't be mad at me (which, he wasn't) because it wasn't my fault. Basically, I avoid stress and drama, and when it comes to certain risks, well if you don't have to take a risk, then don't. There's no reason to play basketball on the side of a cliff when there's a perfectly good court right across the street. Now I'm not saying I never take risks, I actually live life from one wild moment to the next. It's pretty nuts, but the point is, don't take unnecessary risks. Anyways, that's just a big schpiel about my life views. I have tons more if you're interested, just ask. As a final note, I'd like to say I'm quite impressed that you managed to type all that with proper grammar, spelling, punctuation, and with proper capitalization. I'm so sick of all the "txt sp33k" on the net. So thank you for lightening my day by exercising your ability to actually use your brain.
-Oni_Kami
