Problem with in-laws, will the relationship work? Mental health in the way?

Problems with In laws, will the relationship last? Mental health getting in the way?

So I've been with my partner for a year and three months, we met and fell in love quite quickly ( sorry for the cheesiness). Initially his parents liked me, took me for a birthday meal, made me tea when I was visiting his house( he lives with parents), I even went shopping and for coffee with his mother. (Maybe important to note I am a white English girl and he is a Greek Cypriot but born in the U.K). After a while, it started to seem like they weren't as keen on me as I thought, I stayed there for a few days when my mum and I had an argument and things were tense, we had a heart to heart and I told her about things that bothered me, e.g. Feelings and especially emotional neglect by my "father", essentially opening up... and one morning before leaving for work, I says goodbye to everyone like would normally do and she ignored me.

I thought nothing of it.

The tenseness continued after that, with the family inviting over his best GIRL friends family, causing quite an uncomfortable atmosphere with myself, her parents and his parents alone in the living room while him and his friend went for a fag.

I remember thinking I felt kind of stupid and in the way.

The mother later made comments about him "not having any time to himself before he met me "... ( although it was HIM who pushed for us to be together and I'd already asked and he'd reassured me he was ready after his ex).

Again I carried on like nothing was going on...

Then the blanking started.

She gave him back a bag of my stuff because "it was in the way when she was hoovering", although it contained items that were in his wardrobe also (and at 10pm at night).

This was the beginning of the end of a ruined relationship with them for me, especially as she knew of my insecurities, this seemed like a harsh thing to do.

She began inviting HIM ONLY to family events, including an event for HIS birthday. Which really hurt me.

Then no invites continued onto other events

By this point I no longer wanted to visit as I was dealing with my own mental health issues, I was raped before I met him and before this had an abortion which was very hard for me. The horrible man in question also gave me a condition that I can never get rid of, ( my partner knows all of this by the way and supports me).

She stopped liking my Facebook posts, purposely bugging up other girls in my partners life (I'm not insecure, I trust my boyfriend) however she seems spiteful in the way she does thing, congratulating and saying "we love you" to her and ignoring me like I'm dead.

Recently we were invited to his Girl FRIENDS party and they were going to be there. I went, I wouldn't want to hurt him.

They were there and I said hello to the dad, he ignored me. That was awful.

Then the mother was dancing with this girl FRIEND, and ignoring me, looking through me like I was dead...
We ended up going outside and I told my boyfriend in private that it was absolutely devastating for me and ending up crying, he just said he didn't understand how it ended up the way it has, which I couldn't help him with, because I don't get it either.

I went back In and made a brave face for HIM. But it was a horrible experience for me. His dad mentioned when we got back in there that some girl misses and wants to see him- would they find it appropriate if my parent said this to me in front of him with how they're treating me? I don't know.

I don't hate these people, I just don't understand why they're being like this.

Another thing to mention is perhaps that me and my partner have argued over the past year, but only generally quite normal in a passionate relationship. A few angry words, NO violence. He is by no stretch perfect but I would NEVER bad mouth him to them.

I need some help, everything's getting on top of me and I don't know where to start.



Chopkins
Asked Jun 07, 2017

TIP: If it's not your answer to this question, please click "Leave a Comment" button under the question to communicate with the question owner.

Categories