He needs time to think *long post* (26F & 29M)

Hi!
So, I was seeing this man for a little while and things were going
WONDERFULLY he was pursuing and initiating and I knew he wanted a serious
relationship/regularly talked about commitment and even took down his
dating profile which is what we met through (I did not ask him to do
this; it was 100% his choice) A little more background--he has been
purposefully single for the past year. He wanted time to work on himself
and get things together and figure out what he wanted. I had initially
told him I wanted to wait on being intimate. He said he was more than
okay with that and to take all the time I needed. He took me on dates,
cooked me dinner, and even bought me little surprise gifts. Communicated throughout the day everyday. He was open
and vulnerable and truly listened/cared. A very genuine good man. He even
talked about the future--me going as his date for his friends wedding in
October, hoping I would be going in the same direction as him whenever he moves out of state like he wants (& I want too), meeting his friends, and told his parents about me. Saying he
was lucky to have met me and in his mind I was out of his league (which I
would always joke around with him about being so sappy) He said all of
these things never expecting a response, that he was saying then because
he wanted too, and that all he asked was for me to give him a shot. On
Wednesday of this week I stopped by his place for a little while after
work just to see him. And I ended up sleeping with him (in a spur of the
moment thing. It was my decision. We were safe. No pressure from him at
all. He even wanted to make sure I was ready because he didn't want to
scare me away) he was nothing but kind and complimentary. The sex itself
was wonderful to be honest and I felt really connected which is not
something I'm entirely used too. Then got a bit emotional because it
scared me (I didn't like fully cry or whatever. Just teared up a bit when
we were talking). I said that since we have done this, if he decides he
wants to talk to or see anyone else to just let me know. He said that
wasn't going to happen, that he wanted me, but agreed to it on the off
chance it would. He was wonderful and talked me through it etc. made me
tell him what was wrong, look him in the eyes, and hugged me. I asked
what page he was on with everything and he
said he wanted to be in a relationship with me. He really likes me, and
all that. That sex wasn't the end goal for him with me and if I decided I
didn't want to do it anymore and wait then we could. I texted him that
night when I got home (he insisted so he new I got there safely) and
apologized (again) he texted me the next morning when he got up saying
good morning, he hoped I slept well, and that he would only be able to
text in Between jobs that day since he was so busy. I responded saying
that that okay, I hoped he had a good day, apologized again, and made a
joke about how I hoped I hadn't scared him off and that I'd still like to
see him. I know. I shouldn't have done that either, believe me I wish I
had a time-machine. He replied later that night after work...
***"Sorry I couldn't get to replying until now as I'm prepping for bed.
So, it was a lot yesterday, and it definitely caught me off guard. I'm not
accustomed to having to deal with anyone's concerns/thoughts/general
stuff aside from my own or my friends. It made me feel like I wanted to
just go back to being solitary again, that perhaps I wasn't quite ready
to take on being a part of anyone else's life. I can assure you this isn't
a feeling of "Your stuff is scary" but more, "People's (in general)
stuff is scary and a lot to deal with." Life is easy when you only have to
worry about yourself and your few close friends. But I don't want to just
blindly give into that feeling of "retreat back away from the world" just
yet."***
I asked what that meant exactly and he said that he would like to get
through this busy work weekend (he was estentially working all day both
Friday and Saturday at both jobs), have Sunday to gather his thoughts,
and talk to me Sunday evening or Monday after I get off of work if that
is okay. I said that "okay, I understand. I'm sorry again and I promise
it's not a normal thing and I'm not high-maintenance or whatever. I hope
you decide to keep seeing me because I do genuinely like you, and think
it could be something wonderful, but have a good weekend. Good night &
sweet dreams"

I have not contacted him since those messages as I am giving him time &
space to figure things out. I know he will come back to talk whenever he
is ready (be it tonight or Monday or even later) But my question is, how
badly did I mess things up? And if/when I do talk with him is there
anything I can say to make it better?
Thanks so much for your time!!!
HannaLee
Asked May 14, 2017

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