It's not Stockholm syndrome because I've never actually been kid kidnapped but I've always had this strange desire to be. I spend lots of time imagining and sometimes even acting out situations where I am kidnapped, attacked, tortured, etc. The word I use in my mind is being "considered" as in having someone (usually a guy) "think" about me or look down on me. Sometimes it's not even violent, just the desire for someone to think about me a lot or something. I don't know it's really hard to explain and it sounds crazy. Also it's in no way sexual or a sexual fantasy it's more like a drug that must be bad for me somehow but u can't see how and I can't stop and I love it.
For example I once went to summer camp where I had two male counsellors and as I slept I would dream about them kiddnapping all of my fellow campers and I and getting threatened and abused. I really enjoyed imagining those things and one of the highlights of my day was when I could get some quiet to return to my imagination world. I don't know if anyone has an explanation for this but maybe just trying to explain it will help me understand it myself.
