SOMEONE PLEASE HELP! It's long

So here I am again in one of those situations.

So this girl comes into my life randomly in September 2015. We hit it off and created a bond almost instantly. We spent a lot of time together almost every night.

We would get high on weekends on pills and ket and cuddle and chat shit and it was those night we really got to know eachother , I pretty much told her my life story in one night.


We would cuddle a lot like she'd hold my hand kiss my head, I really started to like her more than a friend around Christmas time and I thought she liked me as we spent so much time together but she didn't she liked this boy so I sort of distanced myself for a few months like we still spoke and stuff but we were nowhere near as close and things were different!

She'd do little cute things when she was fucked like she ordered me necklace offline with a compass on it and said " this is for if you ever get lost, you'll always be able to find your way." She got her self one as well and said " we'll always come back to eachother "

At this stage I had a lot of time for her but I was trying to look at her like a friend to protect my own feelings.

Then a few weeks back we fell out quite badly I told her to never talk to me again. We made up and I wanted to get High with her one last time I just wanted to feel her on me one last time then I was going to draw myself away.

But it wasn't for the last time because that time was different. We'd pretty much spent the hole night cuddling away from the party and shed sit there and put her face against mine and said " I've missed my skin on yours " she was telling me she wasn't ready for a man she wasn't ready to date people and she said if I was to date I'd have to give up what we've got and I'm not ready for that. I said what do you mean an she was like well this ( at this point we were intertwined with eachother holding hands ) I like it on weekends when we wake up together if I had a boyfriend I Wouldn't be able to do that she said.

So the night continued and the next day (still quite high) we went back to mine with my other friend and we had a layout of mattresses, friend A was first the girl I like was in the middle then I was at the side.

Me and the girl I like were cuddling when friend A fell asleep. We never usually cuddle once the haziness wears off we've never cuddled in my house. At one point she grabbed hold of my hand and like rested it in between her breasts and held my hand there. we went downstairs and cuddled on the sofa and she said " I'm glad friend A is asleep or we wouldn't be able to do this "

Obviously when we woke up it was back to normal no cuddling or anything. But I was so drawn into her I couldn't stay away through the week and I thought I need to get high with her again so I did it was just me and her the following Friday, we sat in hers and we didn't really talk much we was real high then around 3am we went to this other house party I sort of sat on the other side of the room from her and she followed me and sort of burrowed her self into me and just didn't move until we left.

That night we slept the same way around in her bed ( we normally go top an tail ) so I tell a few mates how I feel and they tell me they thinks she likes me. So off I go thinking I'm in with a chance and when we're sober together she talks about boys and stuff and wants me to have an input like its hard for me I really like her so that shit hurts a little.

We have this stupid connection, like we're constantly laughing in eachothers company we just get eachother. She genuinely cares about me I can feel that but I'm just so confused as to wether it's more than just a friend. She tells me she can't settle on a night unless she's seen me, like the friendship we have at the moment is closer than ever. I don't wanna tell her and loose her for good but.... I'm head fucked I can't stop thinking about her.

I was in the EXACT same position 4 years ago with my ex we went through the same thing before I told her at the end of May. We got together in the end but is this the same ?

I must say the girl I like has slept with a girl before and has made hints of being bi. I always heard the girl she slept with at the pub say " you are what you are babe it doesn't matter what people think "

Just to say as well people in our friendship group have said to us " it's like you're in a relationship. "

Then someone who isn't in our friendship group who has seen us together twice said " ohh is your bird moaning at you " when she asked me to do something.

What do I do ?!
inthecloset
Asked May 11, 2016
Edited May 22, 2016
It's pretty clear you're the backup. She keeps you close so if there's ever a time when she can't get what she wants, you'll be there. She clearly knows exactly how you feel and as long as you stay single then if she ever decides to settle, you'll be there.

Go out, find a girl. Stop trying to live a fantasy that clearly isn't happening. You don't want to be what someone settles for, you want to be what they live for.
Getoverit
Answered May 11, 2017
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Answered Aug 16, 2018
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AlexaPlanter1
Answered Mar 16, 2019

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