Help, I am in love with my gay best friend, what is this?

Hey, I am a 20 year old girl in love with my guy gay best friend. He has only ever had one girlfriend when he was about 13/14 I think but apart from that only ever men, ever. I am so in love with him that I cry whenever he leaves me and I get super jelous of other people with him ESPECIALLY his other girl bestfriend, because they have known eachother since they was 2 and have a lot more memories together and are thick as thieves, every time he talks about her my blood boils and I want to cry. I am very attracted to him, he makes me laugh is always there for me but I am very paranoid. For example; when he is in a bad mood (quite rare) he will not reply to some of my messages or answer my phone calls which is totally understandable if someone is in a bad mood but it ruins my whole day and I cant concentrate on anything which will make me text him more and more and I always think over "i bet if sarah text him he would reply" or "i bet his talking to sarah, why is he ignorning me" it is literally ruining my life.
I have told him a few months ago how I felt and he was very sweet he said he loves me more than he can say, always has, always will but he is sorry he cant make me happy the way I want him to! I really dont think he knows to the extent of how much I am in love with him though and it is getting me really down. Like, I dont want him to be straight because then he would 100% go for any other girl other than me but I just wish he was slowly falling in love with me but he is just in denial. I mean we get on SO well we laugh so hard together and once we fell out for about 6 months and didnt speak, he eventually got hold of me and said that I am the ONLY person he cant not talk to like he needs me in his life. Sometimes when we go out clubbing/drinking we will get VERY close whilst dancing (which I know is normal for gay guys to be like that) but to the point where our lips brush eachother as if we were to kiss but never do, once he even got my hand and grabbed himself with it! He told me before that some of his friends and family think I am in love with him and its a lot clearer than I think, and maybe so but I am so confsed, I dont even want a boyfriend or anything because I couldnt imagine being with anyone else but him. Whenever I am near him I just want to kiss him and touch him I always want to cuddle him and I get soooo frustrated, please help its tearing me apart.
brookehome11
Asked Aug 12, 2015
Love have different meanings in different conditions and age brackets
As in your case you love a person who makes you happy,feel close,passs time
But think yourself can you control your sexual desires as he is gay he will meet his desires by
his way.
Do you think your future with him financially,emotionally as a life partner
In your case you like him and that's certainly you're jealous there is someone around him

He is not interested in you as a life partner but always be yhere as a friend
So don't spoil your friendship in wake of owing him for life
You will loose everything it's real life and it happens.
Stay alone for a day or two hangout some where alone and feel the stillness within and think about your future .Stay happy that's the main thing.
rahulroydangs
Answered Mar 07, 2017

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