How do I get my back tuck again after my mental block

Hey guys! My name is Brooklyn, and I'm 14 years old. This all started when I tried out for cheer in 7th grade. I didn't have a backhandspring and I made my cheer team anyways so you could say I was really excited! I made the team because of my facials and I was really proud of myself! That year I was working on my backhandspring and got my standing! I was super happy and my coach was pushing me so she was happy as well! Days after I got my round off backhandspring then days after that my series. My skills kept getting better and I was so happy! After I was used to sing that my teammates and coaches kept pushing me to do tucks so I was trying them at the gym and at home and I got the courage to do it on my own after I quit at one gym I wasn't happy with. After I twisted in the man's arms when trying my roundoff backhandspring tuck I was pretty much scared and didn't want to do that so I went for standings. I would bring my mattress outside and throw it and when I got used to it on the ground I would do it. I was so determined so I did it but either landed on my knees or touched out. So went to a gym that I normally went to this time and got a coach I was comfortable with. I did it for him many times and threw it but I was not perfected. After a couple more months of training I got my standing and threw it everywhere. This was after my 8th grade tryouts so I was really ready for competition. When the summer months came I stopped throwing it as much and of course I still threw it but touched out once again. I thought nothing of it and went back to privates for just standing tucks. I was working on backhandspring tucks because I thought I was past standings but we started back with standing tucks. I told my coach I would get round off tucks and backhandspring tucks because I thought I would get it. She pressured me so much so I got a small mental block of landing it, so I grew frustrated and angry at myself. I could tell my gym coach was getting impatient and my real coach was getting Ansy because I hadn't thrown everything yet. I got more scared and I was really scared to throw standings and I just felt so scared my skill started to dwindle and my pride of me doing the skill made me not want a spot. Also am bigger than all the girls so I thought they would drop me. After all this, we were practicing competition and she pressured everybody not doing there skills to do it and I was so out of luck because I was practicing standings and not the other stuff she told me to learn so she pulled me out of the tucks routine and put me with the backhandsprings. She was right though because I was not throwing them like I should have been it was not consistent. I was livid with myself and just sad so I stopped throwing them and grew scared just thinking about doing them and grew a big mental block. Keep in mind that I was stubborn and I didn't want anyone to spot me, I was just stuck. I tried to throw it for 9th grade tryouts but I was still scared and wouldn't ask for spots so I didn't make the team along with other girls I was so upset but I got up and tried out for another team and made it. This squad doesn't have many backhandsprings because you can also try out for a competition squad and I want to make it and I have gained my confidence up again and I think I want to try tucks again and I know and feel that this time I might be able to do it! I watch videos of myself when I could do it tutorials and read articles and try to imagine myself doing it all the time. I also get this thing where when I think about it and have tried all day my arms act like I'm doing tucks all day and jerk in the hand motions and I know when I see it that I want it back so bad! I will try anything I just really new help. Plus it isn't like I don't know how to throw it I just catch a blank when I try to do it or try to get set up for it it's like my mind isn't confident enough but my body is. I don't really know but please if someone can answe this please tell me what I should do I am tired of hearing everyone else's story and not mine. Thank you so much!!!!
Asked Jul 08, 2015
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Answered Jan 10, 2019

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