How can I protect myself from chronic bad luck?

I have a disorder where I keep wishing bad would happen on myself and wishing it onto myself and not wanting to feel happy. Also when things are bad wish that they were never bad. Things in my house keep falling, when I confess at church I receive more bad luck. People don't want my help unless I'm willing to give it as though I were a duty slave they don't want my help unless I am a duty slave. If I help them voluntarily they want me to do more until I am past emotional numbness. Everyone points mocks and hates me on sight and pretend they are friendly to my face.
I did a magic spell to protect myself from bad luck and it lasted for about half a day.

I did a magic spell to find out if I had bad luck. It turned out
I didn't have bad luck. I could be as good as anyone else if anyone gave me a chance. But they don't let me learn things step by step, learn everything they do or I have to learn it before they do till Im bored when I have to learn it again when I am taught it by another as part of the process then I give up and forget about it later when it turns to joining things that I have to know to join things together otherwise I am bored.

I needed to go to doctor but parents were really pissed when I asked them to take me Im still unwell. People slander me. My friends end up slandering me. It is very hard to know what people think about me because they slander me and switch between say good things about me. I can't leave my house without the neighborhood hating me. I can't live in the house without my neighborhood hating me.

I asked god for me to die but I fear he will give me a bad hand in my next life and start me over from scratch by modifying my soul so I don't learn my lessons and I will have to fail all over. I don't trust anyone. I am so frustrated with people that I just end up sabotaging my future in trying to have a good present time so I missed out on my potentials cause I thought I wasn't good enough and what I did didn't matter and my parents put me down and they were angry when they found out I wanted to write they wanted to steal my ideas for their own and make money or punch me in the neck.

When I do good luck magic it doubles my bad luck.

My dad demotivated me and made me not want to do anything ever in my life told me get a job now I don't even want to get out of bed. Now I don't want to get a job I'm too lazy I tried to stay motivated but they used emotional manipulation to stop me wanting to do anything. I got away but Im too lazy and Im going to be back there probably I have nothing to do there I hurt myself or want to punch a wall or cry or die when I am alone in a dark room. I feel confused, cheated, upset, lost.
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Jul 06, 2015
Edited Jul 06, 2015

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