Why does nobody respect me and treat me with honor the way they treat others?

I believe someone was spreading rumors about me. People always belittle like about me and mock me where I can hear them even though they do not know me at all. This has been going on for years and years.
I just about suicided a few times.
They are nice to my face but they say rumors about me in front of me to other people and I dont know any of them. Also my neighbor watches me and then black mails me to others. When I go out I get judged by others, when I am at home my neighbor looks in my window if she cant she asks if I'm ok.

There are some kids next door that yell insults at me and adults get their kids to start insulting me, I am not known or famous or ugly or dressed badly.

The neighbors trick me into thinking they can read my mind and make up stories about me. I know my dad tries to see if he can get me ex communicated from church if he can for dissing him if he can, if Im unhappy and have nobody and nowhere to vent to and he seems open to hearing me and then if I do he blackmails me to others. Someone blackmailed me years ago and I was told that everyone from a place hated and wasn't interested in me after they were the only people I had seen for years. My dad told me noone likes me and that my friend didn't like me and if I go back to his house he will tell me she doesn't like me and that she has bad intentions. When I get mad at the neighbors for their malighnment bullying I get mocked and they act like babies.

Whenever I completely trust someone they immediately betray me.

I would like to stop complaining but people keep dragging and cutting me back down whenever I start to do better.

I did some "bad things" years ago but I thought that was in the past, I thought they justified it by saying well I had councelling since.
I have done a lot of things for them sense. I just hurt myself if my life ends up sucking bad

I never want to be on this planet ever again if I die everyones so evil very very very judgemental and negative I hate living in the countryside but I dont know if I could live in the city and people were blackmailing me there and everywhere along the way and the neighbors and town people insult me but I dont know any of these I am studying and trying to become worthy to others but all people do is bring me down

My dad told me he actually wants me to be unhappy

I also realized everyone I thought was special was never ever really there for me
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Apr 20, 2015
Edited Apr 20, 2015
Are you a catholic? Why not just go to church, there a lots of lovely people there. And you could spend most of your time there, other people wouldn't black mail you there
Answered May 28, 2015
Edited May 28, 2015

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