Amber, I really want to help you out without offending you. So read this in a nice tone, knowing I have your best interest at heart.
I am 24 (I will be 25 in a few months). I currently have two children and a third on the way. My first son was a natural birth, and my second was an emergency c-section caused by my sons chord pro-lapsing.
Take this advice from someone who has been through both.. I guarantee you a c-section is not easier than a natural birth. The recovery time and pain are way worse. I loved my natural birth, and was heartbroken when my second ended in a c-section. You should look into VBAC info. I have the feeling they really just want the best for you. If you have the option for a natural birth, it's the most amazing experience you will ever have. Look at natural birth vs c-section statistics. Having a repeat c-section put you and your baby at a higher risk for death or injury, or returning to the hospital later. Also, if you take the epidural, I would say having a baby vaginally is actually less painful. I'm not trying to change your mind. Your a grown woman and will do what you want, but I just want you to see both sides.
On the clothes, they are your mother and grandmother. I'm sure that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the clothes that you put on your daughter. They are just from a different generation and have different taste. Understanding new trends and what's cute, is just way over some peoples heads. Don't take it personally. Let it roll off of you.
I'm one of those people that believe every baby should be celebrated and have their own shower. But I feel like it should be either a really casual one (especially if you want to have beer), with just some friends and food. If you want to have a bigger shower with more people and more things for the baby, it should maybe be somewhere else, with more people, including family, and maybe a few of those fun baby games.
Another thing is, I feel her on the not being married but, continuing to have kids thing. I'm not judging! I had my first at 19 and his bio dad is nowhere to be found. Then I met my now husband, but I got pregnant and so we didn't get married until after he was born. But morals are just going out the windows these days and it's scaring people. Not just older people, but it's scary to most people in our generation as well. I'm not saying that there aren't some things that need to grow and change, but some things shouldn't.
And you have a daughter. I don't (hoping this 3rd one will be since it's my final). If I had one I would want to raise them with the idea of love, marriage and then a family. And even if I didn't follow the protocol exactly, I would want her to know I tried and made mistakes. And if you plan on being together forever, why not be married?
I know it will all work out for you. Congratulations on your new baby! I hope with whatever you decide, it all works out!
Also, I'd like to add, that as a mother you know that sometimes you may not come across the right way or do or say the right thing, but your intentions for your children are always for their best interest. I'm sure your mom, is trying to do that for you and is coming across wrong.
Good luck!