Rules for a baby shower? rules for everything!

So I'm pregnant with my second baby. I had my first with emergency c section and this time they gave me a choice so I'm doing c section again scheduled.. my mom.and grandma say I'm cheating they want me to suffer with a long delivery my mom said for me to have a vbac so I can really feel what it's like and wait on having another baby right away.. very hurtful. Not like they r supporting me or my first child they don't buy diapers I'm in a 3 bedroom home me n my bf have two cars.. and with my daughter anything I put on her they hate it. They hate all.the clothes I buy for her they hate the shoes I buy her. I buy her cute clothes. I know clothes I love clothes. My baby girl wear cute sandals which everyone else loves but they don't they want her to wear big ol grandma shoes bc they complain her sandals don't have arch support. So every time I take my daughter to visit I don't even put shoes on her they just take them off n put the ones they bought which is fine whatever.. so here's the other thing I'm having the baby shower at my house because my mom n gma r so Damn pushy I want my dude there and they r like it's not proper n blah blah blah I'm like I'll send u an invitation u can come if u want.. I want beer at my shower I'm not going to drink of course I'm preg, but my bf will and my friends will I don't want stupid games I just want to chill and eat I want to invite who I want like I don't plan on inviting all my aunt's this time last time I had the shower at my gma house and it was so awkward not everyone approves of my pregnancies bc I'm not married.. I'm like hellooo times have changed gays r marrying weed is legal chill out we'll get married when we want not cuz ur telling us to... so pushy. So it's at my house I'm calling it my back yard baby Que I'm going to have piƱata and the baby's pool going my dude going to bbq and the ppl I want will b there no one I don't want. judging me. I'm a grown ass woman of 25 almost 26 they act like I don't know anything and the faces the make r just so annoying.. I'm 7 a half months preg with anther Bby girl we have everything we need n r financially secure when will they ever stop!!
Amber1989
Asked Apr 09, 2015
Edited Apr 30, 2015
Amber, I really want to help you out without offending you. So read this in a nice tone, knowing I have your best interest at heart.
I am 24 (I will be 25 in a few months). I currently have two children and a third on the way. My first son was a natural birth, and my second was an emergency c-section caused by my sons chord pro-lapsing.
Take this advice from someone who has been through both.. I guarantee you a c-section is not easier than a natural birth. The recovery time and pain are way worse. I loved my natural birth, and was heartbroken when my second ended in a c-section. You should look into VBAC info. I have the feeling they really just want the best for you. If you have the option for a natural birth, it's the most amazing experience you will ever have. Look at natural birth vs c-section statistics. Having a repeat c-section put you and your baby at a higher risk for death or injury, or returning to the hospital later. Also, if you take the epidural, I would say having a baby vaginally is actually less painful. I'm not trying to change your mind. Your a grown woman and will do what you want, but I just want you to see both sides.
On the clothes, they are your mother and grandmother. I'm sure that there is absolutely nothing wrong with the clothes that you put on your daughter. They are just from a different generation and have different taste. Understanding new trends and what's cute, is just way over some peoples heads. Don't take it personally. Let it roll off of you.
I'm one of those people that believe every baby should be celebrated and have their own shower. But I feel like it should be either a really casual one (especially if you want to have beer), with just some friends and food. If you want to have a bigger shower with more people and more things for the baby, it should maybe be somewhere else, with more people, including family, and maybe a few of those fun baby games.
Another thing is, I feel her on the not being married but, continuing to have kids thing. I'm not judging! I had my first at 19 and his bio dad is nowhere to be found. Then I met my now husband, but I got pregnant and so we didn't get married until after he was born. But morals are just going out the windows these days and it's scaring people. Not just older people, but it's scary to most people in our generation as well. I'm not saying that there aren't some things that need to grow and change, but some things shouldn't.
And you have a daughter. I don't (hoping this 3rd one will be since it's my final). If I had one I would want to raise them with the idea of love, marriage and then a family. And even if I didn't follow the protocol exactly, I would want her to know I tried and made mistakes. And if you plan on being together forever, why not be married?
I know it will all work out for you. Congratulations on your new baby! I hope with whatever you decide, it all works out!
Also, I'd like to add, that as a mother you know that sometimes you may not come across the right way or do or say the right thing, but your intentions for your children are always for their best interest. I'm sure your mom, is trying to do that for you and is coming across wrong.
Good luck!
Kad16
Answered Apr 10, 2015
Yes my dr told me all abt vbac I don't want one to me the c section was easy I didn't feel shit especially with the pain killers they gave me after wards.. my mom just wants it to hurt so I won't have another baby all quick my 1st is 2yrs.. u have no idea what's it like putting up with those two the complain abt every little thing.. and me n my dude going to get married when we want too not bc they trying to force us looks like u like to give advice I have alot of questions I would like advice on check them out
You don't have to let your parents control your life I'm 25 make your own decisions don't let them do everything
AnswerNum414
Answered Apr 15, 2015

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