Girlfriend cheating on me?

So me and my girlfriend are in love and trust me it's a good love but she's really making me not trust her. So a bit of back story, she and me got to know each other and we're friends at first and then we fell in love and our love was never easy. I'm Muslim and she's Christian and she stuck through me with everything and we were only saying for like 3 months and there was times where we couldn't talk to each other cause we were being spied on and a lot of shiz but we made it through it and get to spend time with each other. I know she loves me cause no one sticks with someone like that and doesn't love them. The love is real and I wouldn't l don't want to be with anyone else but her. The problem is trust. I let her go through my phone cause I don't have anything to hide and I wouldn't ever hide anything cause I don't want anyone else but she isn't the same. I don't talk to any other girls and if I do it's just in school and formal but she talks to alot of guys and I'm okay with that other than the fact that they hit on her all the time. She's attractive and I get it but she doesn't flirt with them to my knowledge. I don't think she does but I asked to see her phone and she told me not to look at one of her and her girlfriends messages and she was saying stuff to her like she has me but doesn't know what she wants and doesn't really know if she wants me. Its making me feel used and betrayed. I talked to her about it cause I went on her phone without her permission when she was trying to hide it from me and I don't think she meant it and said that cause her friends don't agree with us so her excuse for saying it was because her friends would make fun of her for it. Now that obviously is terrible because it also makes me feel like she's ashamed of me. I guess she talks to them like that saying she won't be with me forever but that's not respecting me at all. I'm not with her for sex or short term goals. I plan on marrying her and she knows it but I'm starting to get these feelings that she isn't respecting. She hits me a lot playfully mind you, not out of anger, and I don't like it and she tells me she hates me at least once a day. Again this is all supposed to be a joke and that's kind of her personality but I tell her I don't like it and she still continues it. The hitting doesn't really bother me but saying I hate you so easily and literally everyday, I don't know why she does it cause I tell her not to all the time. She doesn't really say I love you more than I hate you. Even though it's a joke it hurts. I tell her that. A lot has gone through our almost a year together and we stuck through some shiz. She was hurt really badly by another guy and she has random medical problems popping up and a lot of family problems. And I'm really trying to be here for her but stuff is starting to settle down and I really want her to have happiness but I don't think I can sacrifice myself to the point where I'm not respecting myself. I will not be with anyone else if I leave her because of ethical reasonings I have come up with in my head. This is my first and only relationship and she been in some bad ones. She's a really really good person and very loving. I fell in love with the most best person in the world but she's doing things to make me feel uncertain. I don't want to break the relationship unless she actually is cheating on me but I know she's not but I don't want to be mean to her and I think I am getting a bit more rude. I don't call her bad name or anything but mean as in ignoring her and things that aren't too mean. I try to be sensible even when I'm angry, I don't want to regret anything I say later on. If I leave her it's cause she pushed me too far and I would never hurt her. She's too precious to me that is just end things and she has said some terrible things to me. One thing I've never said is I don't love her and I regret everything cause I never could. I would still love her when of I left her and when I'm mad at her. I take a lot of her hate but not everyone deals well with anger and she has a lot of issues so I know it's not easy for her either. The situation has many factors no one will really be able to give a good answer but I really need help or else I'm going to hurt her and I love her too much I don't want that to happen. It's just I don't know what I should do. I guess I'll talk to her tomorrow about this or when I see her cause it bothers me too much. I really do love her and want to be with her forever but I need to know she wants that too. I can't keep going if I keep feeling betrayed and hurt. I need respect too
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Jan 11, 2015
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I don't know if she is cheating on you. But maybe she has trouble showing her emotions? Talk to her about it, go to couples therapy, guilt her into letting you look at her phone or go on a break. I would say the first two are probably the best options. I hope that I have helped a bit.
Livi1
Answered Jan 11, 2015

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