Oh not another relationship question. Yup

So I probably know exactly what I should do but just need to be validated by internet strangers because a shrink costs too much. Ill try to keep this as short as possible: I started dating this girl (she is 35, Im 33) who has a child, and I don't want kids- she and I had many conversations about this subject and both decided to proceed since her son was 7-8 at the time and has a father that lives relatively close by. (1.25hours away) Its not that I don't like kids, I just have been around them all while crowing up starting in about middle school for me and on through college I taught classes with them, mentored them, and was around them a lot. I suppose subconsciously I have already "raised my kids" and am looking to finally relax now. Anyway in the beginning of our relationship she would make time for her and I to spend together- she would have her parents, who she lives with due to her previous marriage failing, watch him and we would able to spend some adult time together. I knew going into the relationship that I would not take a higher priority than her son and I didn't want to- I just wanted to at least take a priority in the top five in her life. Fast forward about 2.5 years and I confronted her about it, after what I felt was a steady relationship decline, and told her about my feelings of abandonment.
She shares custody of her son with his father. The agreement that they have is that monday-friday the son is with the mom and on the weekends he is with his dad. In theory this sounded great- her son could spend time with his father doing dad things on the weekends and his mom and I would have him during the school week and I could have some alone time with her on the weekends. This quickly turned into her driving 90min on friday night to exchange custody, then his mom driving 3hr on saturday to go watch his games where the dad lives, and then having him on sunday afternoon-another 90min drive in order to drop him off at school in the morning. I finally confronted her about it and basically said that I would need to see her more and it didn't help. She still had no time for me. I finally had to give her an ultimatum- prove to me that you want to be in a relationship or it is over- I mean you cant see someone for less than 8 hours a week and expect the relationship to work. Her actions proved to me that she was just unwilling to spend alone time with me and wasn't even willing to try to figure something out to make our relationship work. It was really clear when her ex husband needed her to watch him and she blew me off to let the ex husband have a vacation without his son on the time he should have had him. I knew that if our relationship progressed into marriage, I would see her son a lot monday through friday, and was ok with that, I just wanted to at least have some time to grow our emotional bond together on the weekend-and Im not just talking about sex. My stance is when its dad time- his mom isn't around and vice versa (now her son is in counseling because he has resentment toward his father-hmm probably since his mom is always there and there is no dad time). I feel like I really tried to help her get her life all squared away and now that I helped her do that she is an ice queen to me. I loaned her over ten thousand dollars for a new car once hers died, helped her start a new business so she could be self employed like me and have more time and money, and helped her work through a lot-like her drinking problem. I mean I don't make a lot of money but have worked really hard my entire life and now have a relatively successful business, have a big house that im in the process of fixing up, and most of all treated her like a princess. She works for me as an assistant from her parents home (she used to work from my home) for one day a week to supplement her income. I even volunteered to give her a dollar an hour more raise. She still has some of her things at my house which I know I need to tell her to come get- and also give me back my key. So now here comes my question, finally- Should I tell her to get off my phone plan, that Im letting her go from my business, and that she needs to figure our the car loan so that I don't have to see her again? Or should I do the nice thing and allow her to still have her phone and car tied to me? Thank you all in advance!
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Nov 06, 2014
So here’s my situation. My bf of three years decided he wanted to take time to fix himself and get right with God (we are both Christians) he said maybe there is hope we can can get back together if God leads us there. I just started no contact and I’m working on fixing myself, getting a new job and stuff. We were almost engaged but our biggest issue was I was not supportive of his family and we argued over that. Immaturity on my part. I also pushed him to change to much and I didn’t realize he didn’t even need to change. I see he joined a Christian dating site three days after he broke up with me but he said its only to meet friends. He is a very honest guy. I need get him back and my last chance was love spell . Entered on the website http://magical-rituals.com , because I read that he has a lot of positive feedback. I’m not disappoint. My lover back to me in only one month. We are happy couple now.

Answered Jul 09, 2015

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