Advice about a future in art and college?

Hello! I am in 10th grade now at an art highschool,graphics department. My biggest problem is a persistent confusion whenever I hear people talking about college and future, what to do after graduating, wishes and hopes and so on... I don't know what I should do because even if I am studying art and I am not very bad at drawing I almost never work. I thought about working with animations(animes,cartoons)or landscapes/illustrations but unfortunatelly I just can't have the patience to search for details or tips and I am not even sure how to find the right things. My failled searches may also result from the fact that I am very worried about a future in art. Is it possible? Can you really survive with drawings? I hope yes with all my heart but my mind says "no". And getting deeper on this subject just led to another pack of hopeless questions:"Then what college should I choose?Should I stay in my little country in Europe and maybe receive a foreign scholarship?Is a foreign college really gonna help me more? What department do I really want then? What if I am not good enough or I just won't do anything out of this?". I depress myself, get worried, try to avoid making a choice, don't work anymore for my school thinking that I need to find a serious job instead something art-related, procrastinate, laze around and=>a horrible viciuous circle. But then again I don't want a random job paid unwell that will just get me working 8 hours a day for nothing. I also thought about maybe choosing a different path like medicine because it somehow attracts me and studying hard isn't such a big problem for me but still doubts appear: "So what if after so many years of learning and training I'll be 30 but with no secure future?What if I won't like it or be good enough?In a path like that with so many willing to become good don't you have to know some people from the inside to give yourself a chance to getting a job?"and the list goes on. Since 7th grade I keep wondering what I will do and if I will just fail and don't gain nothing maybe not even get to a college in the end and just find something to work for my living only.I hve 3 more years of high school but passes fast and I can't skip my own future forever... I DON'T WANT to just pass life like that! I want to learn how to know what to do, how to search for what I need,how to wish for something,how to find something to WISH for and get rid of all the confusion,fear and doubt that is destroying me.
Even everything I wrote above turned out to not make a proper ask for help and advice because I am not sure where to start when it comes to myself. After I finish highschool I will have to do something or nothing but I don't know the steps and even if a college degree sounds like a good plan, what happens after(looking for a job,a family,a purpose,) it's in a complete fog.
Anything that you know will help,any idea or tip so please help me.
lubenitza
Asked Sep 16, 2014

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