Been used for sex multiple times, but i'm the one who feels bad?

Okay, so when I was just thirteen I lost my virginity to my 'boyfriend' if you can even consider a thirteen year old to have one. He talked me into and used that 'I care and love about you' line. Well, I had sex with four more boys when I was fourteen, one I was dating, the other were close 'friends' which now I know they weren't friends. They just used me. Well they used similar excuses. Me being young and stupid fell for it every time. My school counselor at the time found out I had sex and made me tell my mom. I lied to her and said it was one guy. I couldn't tell her I had sex with five guys, and still can't. I just can't imagine her awful reaction. Well here I am awhile later and I feel bad about it. I feel guilty, worthless, like a whore, guilty, etc. I don't want to feel like this anymore, I've felt like this such a long time. I'm scared about when I get older, what if I marry a virgin? Someone who saved their virginity for marriage because they wanted to wait for the person they were going to spend the rest of their life with? But I try to explain to him how my stupid teenage self went out and blew it, plus had sex with multiple guys. He would hate me, I mean, even I hate myself for it. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I don't know how. I know now what I did was wrong, and I had to learn the hard way. But why do I still feel like this? I want it to stop. Any suggestions? Or distractions on to do? I just want to get over this.
Asked May 08, 2014
Don't hate yourself. Everybody makes mistakes. Don't feel bad. They are the ones that use you!! Talk to a trusted person about this. I feel that you are not the bad guy in this situation, it is your "boyfriends". I would find a hobby or sport or something to help keep your mind off things. I like to read a book to escape my problems and get lost in somebody else's. I hope everything works out!!
Answered May 08, 2014
Thanks so much! It means a lot. I read a lot too, I haven't done so much since that happened. But I think I'm going to try that. Yeah, they did use me and I realized that. I decided I'm not having sex again no matter what until marriage. If guys can't accept it, I guess they aren't the right ones. Anyway, thanks for the answer, Babe!
You have very good answers
rcr12 May 09, 2014
Couldnt agree more with Batmansuper You were taken advantage by those horrible people and you are the bigger person here. You need to stop blaming it on yourself
Answered May 08, 2014

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