Okay, so when I was just thirteen I lost my virginity to my 'boyfriend' if you can even consider a thirteen year old to have one. He talked me into and used that 'I care and love about you' line. Well, I had sex with four more boys when I was fourteen, one I was dating, the other were close 'friends' which now I know they weren't friends. They just used me. Well they used similar excuses. Me being young and stupid fell for it every time. My school counselor at the time found out I had sex and made me tell my mom. I lied to her and said it was one guy. I couldn't tell her I had sex with five guys, and still can't. I just can't imagine her awful reaction. Well here I am awhile later and I feel bad about it. I feel guilty, worthless, like a whore, guilty, etc. I don't want to feel like this anymore, I've felt like this such a long time. I'm scared about when I get older, what if I marry a virgin? Someone who saved their virginity for marriage because they wanted to wait for the person they were going to spend the rest of their life with? But I try to explain to him how my stupid teenage self went out and blew it, plus had sex with multiple guys. He would hate me, I mean, even I hate myself for it. I don't want to feel this way anymore, I don't know how. I know now what I did was wrong, and I had to learn the hard way. But why do I still feel like this? I want it to stop. Any suggestions? Or distractions on to do? I just want to get over this.