I'm so in love with my best friend (both girls) that it's killing me!

I am 38 years old and two years ago I met a woman at work who I became friends with. Over the two years we have become best friends, we are inseparable at work and hang out on the weekend. We have taken overnight trips together and enjoy going dancing.

My sexuality is wishy washy, and although she tells me a lot that she's straight, I think she struggles with feeling more for me than friendship. We touch a lot, and we are very flirty. I get jealous when she has moments with other friends, and I've seen her have jealous reactions when I am talking closely to other people.

We have all kinds of private jokes and we laugh a lot. When I walk into a room her smile melts me and she seems genuinely excited to see me.

One night when we were on the way home from a night of drinking and dancing she out her hand on the inside of my thigh and rubbed my leg. She was petty drunk and her head was on my shoulder. She said something like "see where my hand is" and I just chuckled and said I know.

We are both married to men but I feel like we're having out own relationship! And every bit of her I get makes me want more.

So my question is have you ever know a situation like mine to end well if feelings are shared? I am almost convinced that if she knew how I feel she would be open to it, but the small chance she's freak makes me hesitate. I would rather keep her as a friend than lose her entirely! It just really hurts some days.
Asked Dec 02, 2013

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