Love triangle has left me heartrbroken - she picked him and I'm having a breakdown

I wound up being in a love triangle which has driven me into therapy but I need some additional advice, criticism, feedback…whatever it is…I just need to hear it.

I met this woman online in February 2013 and during the first month I didn’t snatch her up and ask her to be in a relationship with me like I should have. She liked me as well during that time but she didn’t pursue me either. We spent some weekends together but never actually became an exclusive couple. We eventually went our separate ways and dated others. In April 2013 I came back into her life and we started going out. Unfortunately she had been seeing a guy for two months but she said she loved me and had always loved me. Eventually, she asked for her house key back from this guy and told him she wanted to see other people. However, according to her she did not tell him specifically that the reason for the breakup was me. She had always said that she had never left one man for another man and she didn’t want to start now. She never actually stopped seeing this other guy and she continued to see me as well. Over the next three months she and I traveled extensively taking trips out of state, hotels, bed and breakfasts, Eastern Shore, DC on the 4th of July, Atlantic City...etc and having the best times. She was mostly honest with me about still seeing him and which I hated knowing but I accepted. I always asked if and when she was going to see him again which is why she told me but I guess I’d rather know than just pretend it wasn’t happening. But I still hated it.

Anyway, during these months, she spent more time with me than him for but it still bothered me that she wouldn’t commit to me. She always lied to him when she was with me…..and as hurtful as it is to admit…she would always post our trips on her Facebook page but I was never tagged or even shown in photos. Her photos consisted of things such as the hotel we were at, sunsets, the restaurants we went to…shows we attended...a landmark…the food/wine glasses at our table...…etc…but never once was I shown on FB with her. I have many photos of us together on these vacations but out of respect I didn’t post them on FB either. I let her control the situation. She said she was just trying to spare his feelings and I accepted it because I was hoping that I would eventually be with her forever. She said she was very confused and often questioned why I didn’t grab her back in February when I had the chance. She was scared that maybe if she left this guy and then I decided I didn’t want to be with her anymore she would have lost both of us. I wish I could go back in time and grab her for myself but obviously I can’t. However since coming back into her life in April I treated this girl like a princess. Trust me on this and she knows it too. I began loving this woman everyday more and more and treated her as such. She told me every day she loved me. She said she loved this other guy too but her love for me was different - with me she had such passion. She was IN love with me versus just loving the other guy. She said if the other guy left or dated someone else it wouldn’t be a huge deal…but if I were to leave or date someone else it would destroy her. She made me feel so special…and she was so much fun…and I found her to the most beautiful woman in the world. Not a woman alive could make me feel as special as she did. She’s 33 years old and had been diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis since she was 18 which could debilitate her in her future…yet I never cared about that. There’s no question I would be there for her forever.

Anyway, this love triangle went on for months…it took its toll on me…I lost close to 40 lbs. in less than 3 months from the stress…she lost about 15lbs. The scenario was not good.

So…a little over two weeks ago I take her out to eat…we have drinks…we’re having a great time. We go back to her place and it’s around midnight…still having a great time. We’re having some wine, eating some food…barely dressed…it’s literally the best time of my life to be honest…and then there’s a bang on the door and it’s him. He yelled inside that he knew I was there (my car was out front). I knew she wouldn’t just allow him to stand outside and bang on the door so I opened the door…and to make a long story short…she asked me to leave and he stayed…and I never saw her again. I’m disgusted. I’m completely heartsick. I am so heartbroken. I know she used me…but I’m devastated. I loved this girl so much. I’m like a walking zombie. My life feels like it has no meaning now. She has unfriended me on all social media sites. She no longer calls me or texts me so I know it’s over. What’s killing me inside is that aside from just leaving me (and how it transpired)…I really don’t understand what I’ve done to deserve the harsh treatment since that infamous evening. She’s treating me like I did something horrible to her. That’s the part that I need closure on. I can’t understand it! I’m so distressed I can’t think straight. My entire life has been affected. I go to sleep thinking of her. I dream about her. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking of her. Why do I feel like this after being treated like this?
Couple of facts:

Based on her upbringing she has detachment issues with her emotions. Instead of dealing with issues head on, she has always dealt with negative emotions by hiding them away in her head, putting on a happy face and going out with friends. (She has admitted this to me multiple times) Basically she doesn’t really feel the emotional pain that most people feel because as a child that was how she was able to cope with some of the painful things that happened to her growing up. When I told her how devastated I was and told her that she had “No idea” of the pain that she has caused me…she apologized and replied (sincerely) that she wished she knew how I felt.

When she did go out with him while dating me she would tag him in Facebook and show them together which made me feel awful to know she would do that with him but not me. She claimed it was because people assumed they were still dating. That was probably one of the most hurtful aspects of this relationship. Knowing I was being hidden away like she was cheating on a husband or boyfriend.

She had told me on several occasions that everything was fine between her and this guy before I came back into the picture. (Maybe it’s true…but she didn’t have to let me back in her life) He played it cool though and allowed her space…I didn’t. I bugged her constantly about leaving him and always questioned when she and I could be together. I probably chased her away with my nagging. But I’m not the kind of guy that can just pretend everything is fine.

She actually blamed me for opening the door that evening because she wanted to convince him nothing was going on that evening but she was barely dressed so that didn't he and I had some words and I said something to him as I was being kicked out like I was with her on certain occasions that he hadn't known about. Anyway, she said she couldn’t forgive me for doing that. And because of this she has now told me even if they don’t work as a couple she could never be with me. Can someone make sense of what happened to me?? After all of this though…I still want her. What is wrong with me?? I still have the urge to call and text her. I don’t know who’s sicker…her or me??? Can someone please tell me when this pain will subside? I used to be this healthy person but now I’m on sleep medication, anxiety medication and something else prescribed to calm my nerves. I’m a freaking mess. My heart is in a million pieces. I don't know which way to go to start putting myself back together. Is this love or am I just obsessed with her?

I did manage to talk to her once and she said he unfriended me on FB and other social media to spare my feelings. Sounds more like she's just moving on and doesn't want me knowing anything about her. Any thoughts on this?
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Oct 09, 2013
You can't hold yourself to this girl. I know you want to, I held onto my ex for the longest time. I think she kept you a secret because she did not stop seeing him. She lied to you, and used you, but the best time of your life was with this woman. I don't know how old you are, but you said how old she is. I don't know what it is you want to hear, but I will tell you what I can. It's going to hurt, for a very long time. You won't trust anyone with your heart for the longest time if you do manage to trust anyone. No matter what you do, you are going to think about her, and maybe one day many years from now, the thought of her won't hurt. Most people say you need to go meet new people.. It's the last thing you want to do... but if you find the right gal... Who's willing to just be a friend for a while.. You will get over her faster. I promise. All you need, is a girl, who is kind and sweet, understanding, and willing to just be a friend. I am doing that right now for a friend of mine, in his twenties. He and his gf of over four years (since highschool) broke up because she stopped caring and it became a distance relation. She stopped caring about him completely; and he still loved her, still does. I'm just, there, being a friend. I let him know how important he is to me, how much his smile means to me.. I let him know, that he is like the first time I saw fireworks in person. <3 You can't make someone love you; but you can be their friend. Don't try to be her friend; she doesn't want anything to do with you. If she really loved you the most, the moment you said you wanted her for yourself.. She would have stopped seeing him. I've been in 3-way relationships before, where I was the one left, and I was the one chosen. Once, me and the other girl were both left.. He didn't feel he deserved us.. After that, me and the girl.. we split up.. Seeing each other only reminded us of him. Before he became like that; we thought we three were going to get married one day. Things happen that you cannot control, and life is unfair. Everyone says it, all the time. We hate it. I hate it. I still hurt over my ex too, and I'm afraid of love... I'm scared of the pain it causes and I fear if it breaks again I will cease to exist. It doesn't stop me from having minor crushes, and liking people. I have a crush on my friend who I am helping get over his ex.. But; I didn't know he had just gotten out of a relationship when I met him. You sound like a great guy, and I am sorrowful for what happened to you.. Don't let her consume you. She lied.. It doesn't matter what you did, if she loved you more she would have defended you.. No matter the cost.
Answered Oct 14, 2013

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Answered Oct 15, 2013
I have a similar situation going on. But I've already halted myself from going further because I know there's too much history between her and 'him'. Even though I know (and she knows) there's an unxeplainable feeling that just makes sense. And I think it paralyzes her as it paralyzes me.
I think you are one of the few people who really experienced love, in its pure form. You sacrificed your mind and body to her and when she left, your mind AND body started to fall apart because they were so grown together with the person you love.
Time doesn't heal, that's a lie. But with time your mind will learn to oppress these feelings of loss, of despair. Though they'll keep lingering, but you will be able to find happiness again.
Answered Feb 15, 2014
I want to use this means to let the world know that all hope is not lost Getting pregnant after having tubes clamped and burned, I know IVF and Reversal could help but it way too costly, I couldn't afford it either and I so desire to add another baby to my family been trying for 5 years, not until I came across Priest Babaka, who cast a pregnancy/Fertility spell for me and I got pregnant.l hope that women out there who are going through the same fears and worries l went through in GETTING PREGNANT , will find your contact as I drop it here on this site, and solution will come to them as they contact you. Thank you and God bless you to reach him email via: [email protected] or facebook at priestly.babaka
Answered Oct 15, 2018
I want to use this means to let the world know that all hope is not lost Getting pregnant after having tubes clamped and burned, I know IVF and Reversal could help but it way too costly, I couldn't afford it either and I so desire to add another baby to my family been trying for 5 years, not until I came across Priest Babaka, who cast a pregnancy/Fertility spell for me and I got pregnant.l hope that women out there who are going through the same fears and worries l went through in GETTING PREGNANT , will find your contact as I drop it here on this site, and solution will come to them as they contact you. Thank you and God bless you to reach him email via: [email protected] or facebook at priestly.babaka
heal from broken heart" Love spell from dr.Unity brought my husband back"contact [email protected] to help you get your Ex lover back urgently after breakup/divorce"
After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. I tried to be strong just for the kids but I could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because I was really in love with my husband. Every day and night I think of him and always wish he could come back to me, I was really worried and I needed help, so I searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and I did it then he did a Love spell for me. 11hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and I decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity is real spell caster who I will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your ex lover back or save your marriage fast. Do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster Dr.Unity now. Here’s his contact: Call/WhatsApp him: +2348071622464 ,Email him at: [email protected] , Website: ,Your kindness will never be forgotten.

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Answered Feb 04, 2019
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Answered Mar 20, 2019
I met this man on Facebook name Phelps McAllister, he had been able to convince me to give him money on various occasion for different reasons varying from health to phone bills and also he made me use my Capital one bank account to receive payment and send to him in Malaysia where he has a Road contruction contract and a whole lot which can't be all said but thanks to a referral I came across on a web page I cant remember because its been a while now but the contact I was referred to was Martin Branch via email "branchm192atgmaildotcom" he helped me gain access to Phelps phone anonymously which helped me trace his location and found out he's in W/Africa and he was also in contact with a host of other women telling different lies to get money and other benefits from just like me. I reported him and he got arrested and since then i've been able to track down whoever tries to scam me with the help of Martins and also helps to verify whoever i'm having a conversation with anyone randomly on the Internet. you may be interested in getting Martins services , contact him via ; branchm192(@)gmail(.)com

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Answered May 18, 2019
How I Got My Ex Husband Back...........
I am Silvana. Greetings to every one that is reading this testimony. I have been rejected by my husband after three(3) years of marriage just because another woman had a spell on him and he left me and the kid to suffer. one day when I was reading through the web, I saw a post on how this spell caster on this address([email protected]), have help a woman to get back her husband and I gave him a reply to his address and he told me that a woman had a spell on my husband and he told me that he will help me and after 2 days that I will have my husband back. I believed him and today I am glad to let you all know that this spell caster have the power to bring lovers back. because I am now happy with my husband. Thanks for Dr. John Jay([email protected])...
Answered May 31, 2019
My husband and I have been married for about 7 years now. We were happily married with two children, a boy and a girl. 3 months ago I started to notice strange behavior from him and a few weeks later I discovered that my husband was seeing someone. He started coming home late from work, he doesn't care about me or the kids anymore, sometimes he goes out and doesn't even come home for about 2-3 days. I did everything I could to correct this problem but to no in vain. I became very worried and needed help. One day when I was searching the Internet, I came across a website that suggested that Dr. Padman could help resolve marital problems, restore broken relationships, and so on. So I felt like I had to give it a try. I contacted him and he made a spell for me. Two days later, my husband came to see me and apologized for the wrongs he had committed and promised to never do it again. Since then, everything has returned to normal. My family and I live happily together again. All thanks to Dr. Padman. If you need a spellcaster capable of casting a spell that really works, I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you. Here is his email:

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Answered Mar 22, 2020
I am not sure I could have done it without you. I contacted a real spell caster that helped me change my husband’s heart to love and want me again, and he really did and now we are very happy together. My husband left me for another woman, This was just 3 years of our marriage. The most painful thing is that I was pregnant with our second baby. I wanted him back. I did everything within my reach to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so badly because of the love I had for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to my friend and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back , I had no choice than to try it. I messaged the spell caster called dr unity, and he assured me there was no problem and that everything will be okay before 11 hours. He cast the spell and surprisingly 11 hours later my husband called me. I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that had happened He wanted me to return to him. He also said he loved me so much. I was so happy and went to him that was how we started living together happily again.thanks to dr unity . if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity for help now..
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Answered Jul 15, 2021

have you lost hope in your relationship, do you think your partner is cheating?. I am so happy to have my lover back again after 8 good months of separation. I never thought we will live a happy life together again, but today, I am so glad for what Dr Unity spell caster has did for me as he cast a reconciliation love spell for me to bring back my Ex to live together with me again. My testimony to everyone who is in the same situation as I was,should contact him..Here his WhatsApp +2348055361568 ,Email him at: [email protected]
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I am not sure I could have done it without you. I contacted a real spell caster that helped me change my husband’s heart to love and want me again, and he really did and now we are very happy together. My husband that left me for another woman his home again. I am lucky to have found an honest spell caster.. if you are here and your Lover is turning you down, or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact Dr.Unity for help now..Here his contact..WhatsApp him: +2348055361568 ,
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