Do u think its normal for a 9 year old to wanna commit suicide?

I'm 11 now. Sometimes I feel like I'm just a waste of matter on this planet. My dad hates talking to me, and he complains about money a lot, but if he'd stop buying beer and cigarettes, he would save 1000 dollars a month. I'm depressed, but I no longer wanna kill myself. But, I was ever since I was nine, due to OCD. I also have a condition where no matter how much I eat, or no matter how many calories I intake, I can't gain an ounce. My dad blames me. I still self harm. If you wanna kno how, which I bet you fucking don't, I burn myself with hot glue.

Stop burning yourself!Find a friend you can talk to,whether it be in school or online!I really don't care if I die. If I'm gone,im gone!Nothing else,just pitch black. But that's just me! Just find a friend online to talk to,and he/she will help you get by. I email my 1 friend everyday. We act alike,and that's what keep me going. You just need someone to help you cope with this. Im 13 by the way...

Try talking to folks at www.crisischat.org. They're great listeners and they don't judge. It's free.

I agree with what others have said about talking to someone.

I heard somewhere that, instead of quitting self-harm outright (which I gather can be hard to stop), you can replace it with another habit. For example, whenever you feel the impulse to hurt yourself, you instead draw on your skin with pen or something like that. Maybe you can also train yourself to write or do some other useful exercise during those times . . . It can't hurt to try.