Childhood Sexual Abuse, as well as verbal and physical. Now a teenager.

I am 18. I do not want to do therapy. I do not want to have to talk about my past. I simply want to ask if what I am experiencing is normal, and if there are people out there who know first hand what to expect.

I have been with a handful of guys. I still have not had sex. When I am with a guys, and we are intimate, I am never turned on. Even when he does stuff to me I feel nothing. Kissing, and touching all the same. Nothing. Is this normal? How do I overcome this? Or is it mabye the guy? I am not with the right guy? Any advice? Or is this something serious.
cadim
Asked yesterday
Well, explain the childhood abuse, if that's your problem!
Lana312
Answered yesterday
Yes, it is common. I call it "to loose the physical openness to sex or ability to receive pleasure... easily". And a variety of life experiences can do it to a person, at any age. But that variety of experiences all have in common lack of love directed to you.
I am a woman in my 40s. And I was married twice, and I was open, and ex did not touch me the way I wanted. It never happened, we divorced. Now I have what you have.
You say, abuse. It's worse, but part of it has same effect. Only there are probably other effects that I don't have. I was not abused, I was only unloved.
By the way, not any therapist can tell you that. They often advice to have sex to relax as if it's always a good thing:)
Now, what I do? I stay away from men for about 7 years. 7 years ago I tried dating after divorce, and noticed what you described, and I would turn into backlash at them at some point.
I am currently in a long distance relationship, no meeting yet. I take it slow.
For you, important is not to expose yourself to more and more situations when you build up anger. Never do anything like prostitution. It may turn you into monster.
My advice - find somebody with who you can take it slow. It's like something inside you has to restart. When you take it slow, in the process, you will experience sudden desire and fantasies that come and pass. Don't act on it right away. Let yourself have those at least a few times.
How to do it? I would recommend some place online where people meet virtually. either second life or any other gaming world. Build some kinky character.
I do something different, but I would rather recommend through online worlds (not dating sites for you, no:)
Sex abuse main harm is that they treat you as object and don't give love to you. The harm is on spiritual level. It is real. You have those chakras - the lower ones are hurt. Your spiritual body was hurt. But it can heal.
Also, I recommend books of Louise Hay. She was abused as a child.
Be well
cinder014
Answered yesterday
Edited yesterday

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