How can my brother and I have a friendly relationship as brother and sister?

My brother is 12 and I'm 14. He and I have not the best relationship. My brother thinks it's funny when I cry or explain how I feel or when I get mad. He always repeats what I cried about and makes fun of me. He hurts me mentally and physically. He calls me every bad word he knows and sometimes, I receive minor injuries from him. If I fight back, my dad would punish us both, so most of the time, I have to keep our fights secret. Another reason why I don't tell my parents is because if I do, it turns out like this... I tell my dad about an injury he gave me, my dad yells at my brother, and then my mom yells at my dad to not yell at him so loud and mean, then my mom and dad get into a fight and I get blamed for everything. My family loves me and everything, but I want this to stop. I try telling my brother how I feel and want him to stop his mean ways, but he just laughs and calls me pathetic. I can't lose my temper and call him worst names, because I don't want to be looked as the bully too. And he never listens to my words. Every time I try to tell him something, he covers his ears and goes, "BLAH BLAH!" It's so annoying. When he comes in my room, he stays and touches my things to make me mad. He wants to get me in trouble! And that's not even half of my problems. He is my no. 1 stress and bothering me when I'm doing my homework, making me more stressed out than I'm supposed to be. I'm ashamed of my brother. Please give me GOOD advice on what to do.
Asked Apr 25, 2013
I'm concerned that you're learning to hold things in and tolerate less than appropriate behavior so that you can keep the peace in your household. That's a harmful pattern to learn so early in life.

I would suggest that you try to talk to your mother about that as calmly as possible. Tell her you don't feel like you can come to her when you need help because you feel like you get punished for it in the end. That should catch any mother's attention.

Then ask her for suggestions for dealing with your brother. Not saying it's right... he's acting like a douchy 14yo boy can... If your mother doesn't like the way your dad deals with him, then she needs to deal with him so you don't internalize this.

Oh, as for improving the relationship with your brother... sometimes the best you can do as teenagers is not kill each other. If you both survive to adulthood, it may be easier to form a better relationship then when you've both had the benefit of maturing a few more years.
Answered Apr 25, 2013
Edited Apr 25, 2013

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