I want to kill myself but I am scared of the impact it has on my children

I left my wife 4 years ago as she was violent in front of my children and did not want them seeing it.i have had 4 years of hell and know my kids are being abused emotionally and possibly physically.I spent 4 years waiting for a social worker coming out who was useless.I complained and it was upheld.Since that I went to court where a section 7 full investigation was launched,however he was worse than the other social worker and despite having evidence of abuse he was not interested and simply blamed anamosity between the parents.During this time the bruising stopped but my ex Wife's brother in law was heard encouraging my son to be naughty and wet himself when with me but this was ignored as usual by Social Services.aS a result I have yetb another complaint in.I lost my job by visiting a service user who had suffered depression and I had also whistle blown on the lack of support she received and they settled out of court.I now have court orders in place which my ex continues to break,I have no job and aren't speaking to my family who said they would help my children but aren't interested.I have simply had enough and if it wasn't for my kids I wouldn't give suicide a second thought but even with them I don't waqnt to be here anymore.Fathers have no say and I don't have any strenghth left and want out of it all.

turn to god. pray, and ask for wisdom. dont end your life, when a new one can begin.

Don't do it

Your kids would likely be devastated and have NO ONE to advocate for them. Try counseling. You can start by talking with the folks at crisischat.org. It's free and anonymous to chat as long or as often as you want (when they are online). They can also help you locate other services in your area.

Take a rest. Recharge your batteries... and when you're able, pick up the fight again.

Have you worked with an attorney yet? You can contact your local bar association to see if they have a low or no cost referral or pro bono service. You can also try LegalShield (www.legalshield.com). They are like $17-20 a month or something and you can talk to an attorney all you need. Depending on the plan, you can get letters mailed on their letterhead. I've used them for years during times when I didn't want to pay my regular attorney's high fees.

In most states, when kids reach a certain age they can tell the court what parent they want to live with. Find out when that is, and talk to your kids about their wishes.

I know it sounds impossible, but try to relax. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Try to do things that relax you. If you're a spiritual person, now would be a good time to lean on that.

I hope everything works out for you and your children.

You left your wife, she was violent but you left your kids with her? You story is very one-sided, what kind of father are you? If you have this attitude while visiting with your children I really think they are better off without you. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, find a job and be somebody they can be proud of.
Eissshhh!!