Am confused is my husband manipulative or just does`nt know how to react/behave?

my husband keeps silence or becomes angry and threatens me of self injury when I start to discuss about how his behaviour hurts me.once he broke his finger in real when he hit his fist against wall.we will be in peace if I dont raise any points.he himself will never start a fight.i speak very politely without blaming him as I want to solve any matter by discussion not yelling or fighting.but he doesnt like to discuss.he stops me by crying or hitting himself against wall or throwing any thing to floor.i get scared and everytime though I start to speak because of his fault I have to end it by saying sorry or wiping his tears.hes not easy for me to understand.i m in dilema does he know how to behave or is he manipulative?

he should see a therapist if he behaves like that,if he refuses its a sign hes manipulating you because he knows itl work

This doesn't sound safe or healthy for you. I would really encourage you to talk to someone who can help you figure out how to get him help, or how to get you out of the relationship if he refuses help.