Can social services take my baby from me?

Been with my partner for 3yrs, we have a 1yr old daughter. unfortunately he is a heroin addict, and trying his best to get clean (not easy) social services arent happy with his progress. social have no concerns with my parenting ect, but its now pretty much got too the point where they are saying that I can no longer be in a relationship with my partner, which is ridiculous because it doesnt change anything. they said if not they will issue court proceedings. but if the concerns arent to do with me, surely they cant take our daughter from me? we are being treated extremely unfairly. I am now at breaking point. all I am trying to do is give my daughter the best possible life, and they are ruining all hope of that :( p.s my partner is not living with us as social made him move out. help please!!
Tegansmummy
Asked Apr 11, 2013
I understand that heroin is a terrible addiction but many arguments could be made that your child growing up in a home with a heroin addict is not offering her "the best possible life."
Rob
Answered Apr 11, 2013
Although you aren't living with him, they still consider him to be a destructive force in her life as long as you're together and he has access to her. They can intervene, and they can take her. I know it must be terrible to feel forced to abandon him when you care for him and he needs encouragement and support now, but given the situation, maybe you have to back away from him until he really, really gets clean. You're definitely between a rock and a hard place, but right now it looks like "the best possible life" for her may not include her father for the time being.

In a way, she's lost her father (at least temporarily). You have to decide if she's going to lose you too.
skyDancer
Answered Apr 11, 2013
Edited Apr 11, 2013
I understand what your saying. But heres the strange part.. they said he would still be aloud too see her though, it would be different if there was no contact but there is so I dont understand why me and him breaking up would change anything. They have messed us about from day one claiminh to help us when all theyve done is made things more difficult than they need to be and its just put extra pressure on us as a family :( they say they are doing whats best for our child but I feel they are ruining her life :( hes not a grubby old tramp you might see in the street. He does respect himself and his appearance, you wouldnt be able too tell he was an addict. Hes a brilliant dad. Our daughter adores him. I feel like they are just doing it because they feel they have too :(
Even if they are contradictory, it seems like you have to play by their rules in order to keep your daughter. I hope everything works out for your family.
Thanks :) he now has a job, and hopefully will be getting a script soon so fingers crossed social will back off :D
I think for you its really by bye husband or bye bye baby
girl_on_fire
Answered Apr 15, 2013
I wanted advice/support not for someone to state the obvious.

I just found out about this site recently. It looks like a place where people share experiences of all kinds, and support each other through them. It might be helpful if you can connect with people in similar situations.
http://www.experienceproject.com/
Also, when you need someone to chat with, you can try crisischat.org. It's free and anonymous. I've found them helpful when I've needed someone sympathetic (but outside of the situation) to chat with when dealing with family issues.
Thankyou :)
I know it seems unfair, but they really are just doing what's best for your child. They are probably questioning you too though, because most people won't even consider having a baby with a meth addict. You need to stay away from him and if he really loves you and your child then he will go and get clean. If he doesn't then he isn't worth your time and doesn't deserve to have a child. Even if you love him, the safety of you and your baby is more important.
Kad16
Answered May 06, 2013

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