over the last month, I found her talking to him more then I knew, on the phone and text messages, saying she was emotional connected to him because of us having minor problems.
one morning I had a dream about her leaving for this kid. I woke up hurt. I wrote her a very touchy letter confessing my love and devotion to her, to really make this work. as I was walking out the door, I noticed her journal hanging out of her purse, I told her I wouldnt read it, but I did. I opened it up and read a section about her and this ex of hers one night she slept at his house and made out and how it was one of the best times in her life. I felt like dirt. I left crying, upset, and mad. as I sat out in my truck crying. I started looking for apartments and a new job on craigslist. then I went on the personal page and replied to a sex ad with a picture, almost out of spite, thinking she would see it when she wouldnt. the whole day I thought of breaking it off. that night we had a heart to heart, and wanted this marrage. we planned the wedding for july 4th of this year.
the next weekend I found text messages in her phone telling her ex she was jealous of him for having a girlfriend and so on. then saw she hid his number in her phone as a womans name, I confronted her, she lied about it, then I called her out, and she said she was sorry, I forgave her again for something that dealt with her ex.
the next day, she went through my phone to see if I had saved her ex's number in my phone. she found the email I sent to that add. she beat the shit out of me, I deserved it, and broke up with me and called off the marriage. I was devastated because I didnt cheat or had no intentions of cheating.
i hadnt slept so a couple days later I looked up sleeping pills, it lead me to other pages and searches that dealt with imsemination and knocking someone out. ive never shown her a violent side nor do I have one, my mind wasnt in the right place and I would never hurt her in any way. the next mornign I fell down the stairs, and got hurt, she thinks I did it on purpose to get pain pills, but I didnt, thats when she found the searches on my phone.
still through all this ive been as loving and caring as possible and buying her gifts and taking her out, "as friends"
we still live eachother right now for financial reasons, she still lets me give her massages, which I love to do, and play with her hair while we watch movies.
this girl is the love of my life and im desperate for a one chance to show her the changes ive made in my life strictly for her and having a family with her....
please help!!
Asked Apr 09, 2013
0
