Worse day ever :'(

well this is crazy. idk how much this site will help, but whatever. but down to the point, I was a virgin because I was saving myself for the one special guy, and luckily I've found him. <3 he proposed and our wedding was coming up shortly, but I was saving myself for the marriage night, and he asked me slightly before the wedding if we could have sex. So I said "no, I want you to, bt we have to stay on track." he said, "its fine honey, I understand, thanks for putting me back on track, with our plan". Well I went out for a walk alone, a week from the wedding date. And I was raped. By 3 African American men. Now the fact that they're African American doesn't matter until later, so keep reading. They also all forced me to suck on their penises, or they said they would kill me. And they all shot their sperm all over me, but one put it inside my vagina. After they were done raping me, they ran off. I was screaming the whole time, but they covered my mouth. I came staggering home, crying my eyes out, with marks on me because they all hit me, I don't know if I mentioned that, and my clothes were ripped up, and everything, and. I was so sore I could barely walk, but. I needed to get home. I was exhausted, and when I reached the house, I walked inside, and there my man was waiting for me. I fell into him, sobbing, and sweaty, all beaten and battered. I told him what happened. And he screamed and cursed and punched holes in the wall and cried and yelled to the Lord asking why. And he grabbed his gun and he was about to run out the dorr, his brain was scrambeld. But I said "wait, they ran away, you won't find them, and I need you to stay here with me". He put the gun down, and he put me in his arms, handling me carefully to avoid hurting me further, and we just sat there crying. And we cried the rest of the day away and fell asleep. But what worries me is I think this turned him racist, because he began to yell how he hates niggers when he was in his fit of rage. and we were very much for race equality and love for all. I still am, but I never heard him say the n word. Keep in mind this was last Friday. well I got some plan b, actually he got it for me, because I refused to have the child of one of them. But just over the last days, he seems to wbe going crazy about it, and saying he should have came with me, but I always take walks by myself! and saying he hates black people. But I told him, not all of them are evil, and this isn't right, but he won't listen. Help. How do I convince him? Because I have people who are coming to the wedding from my family who are bringing their BLACK spouses, and also because racism is just wrong. And also, will I still be pregnant and have to go get an abortion, or did the plan b work? We just used it because it seemed to be the only option. And how to cheer up, I'm so sad, and I don't wanna be sad on my wedding, that's my special day with my man. am I overreacting? I think I'm reasonable, but I don't know, this flipped everything around, and I feel like I should've had sex with my man before because at least he would have been the one with the honor of deflowering me, if I could've predicted the future, I wouldn't ave gone on that walk.

He's angry, grieving, and blaming himself. It's a normal response. I was assaulted several years ago by someone who was wearing red. It took YEARS before I could look at red/dark red/maroon/burgundy/etc without having a panic attack. It wasn't a logical association. I didn't panic when I saw white people, or blond-haired people, or stocky people... I just focused on the color of the clothes. He's doing the same thing. He's traumatized.

Counseling could be helpful, and is worth trying... for both of you.

Rapists come in all colors. I know tons of black men, not one of them is a rapist. The people I have met over the years who shared their rape experiences with me, we all raped by men who weren't black. Someone from any race can rape... It's the luck (or bad) of the draw.

With all of that in mind, you might want to have a serious conversation with him about the racism. You guys need to have your values in line with each other if you plan to have children together. And if you want to operate in social circles / work environments where racism isn't tolerated, then you're going to have problems for the duration of your marriage, or as long as he thinks my black husband and my black son are anything like the criminals who raped you. This needs to happen before the wedding. You need to be on the same page.

You both might want to contact Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) for assistance working through all of this:
http://www.rainn.org/get-help

National Sexual Assault Hotline
1.800.656.HOPE(4673)
Free. Confidential. 24/7.

Wow, that is really really sad... I really hate rape and a gang rape like this is so bad. If you got a good look at them you can describe them to the police and they could make sketches and look for these people. They ruined you and they deserve to be punished.

Something similar happened to me though its not the same but I feel your pain. How others can come and damage us and then run off without being punished for it. Please tell me how I can make you feel better. I really, really hate rape and its a harsh sign to me of so many things so many realities that it wouldn't be appropriate to burden you with at this time.

I have had so many things happen to me that proved to me there is no God and if you still believe in one I won't judge you for it but it my view that religious beliefs of lawmakers can let trouble makers have the power to abuse us as happened to you.

What can I say or do to make you feel better?

I am really angry that this happened too and that they are getting away with it. I had no idea it was so easy to rape someone in America but apparently it is. Gang rapes especially bother me and the statistics for that too are really high. A world that isn't safe enough for girls physically and emotionally is safe for no one and not worth living in unless it changes.

Hope to hear back from you. The best I can do is offer you my friendship and if you want to talk about this or anything else please feel free to. I can totally relate with you regretting going on that walk. Something very bad recently happened to me because of others and I regret everything I did or didn't do before it.