My 18 years old cousin (sex)

When he was 16 he tried to have sex with me I was scared and all the times that he touched me I pushed him away but he came back at that time I was 11. I still remember feeling hes penis he didnt came inside me he was just playing with hes penis op and down with my ass we had clothes on.
Now im dreaming about him day & night thinking how bad I wanted him but I culdidnt undertand what he was doing & now I do
I want to fuck him so bad I miss him & I know its wrong
he tried to have sex with me & I dont think he will touch me again
so I need to make the move ? But I will get in trouble because hes 18 now and im 15 I want him.
Im obsessed with porn and want to have sex and my cousin hes on my mind but he live so far. And I know my classmate he dont have the balls to have sex with me !

Girl, you fucked up

Talk to an adult female in your family (mother, aunt, grandmother) about how you feel and hopefully they can help you avoid falling off the cliff you are headed for.

I think you should get in touch with him and invite him or over. Then show him a tour of the house. Take him to you bedroom and ask if he has a gf, then push him down on the bed, but do it as if you tripped. Start touching his dick and remove both of your clothes. And go from there :) let me know how it went if you tried my way x

Hehehehehehe ..you're 15 !! Omg