Should I leave him? Please HELP

I found an email on my man's phone. It was a response to an internet sex ad. He said "I'm interested " and sent his pic to a post saying "discrete girlfriend for you" I confronted him and he said he did it because we had been fighting and he thought I was going to leave him. I am enraged. He said it was a one time thing and he'd never do it again. Should I dump him? We live together and I can't afford the place on my own. What should I do I have no where else to go.

Do you believe him? Do you trust him? Do you think you can trust him again?

If you do believe him, and believe this is a one-time bump in the road (albeit and enormous one), then eventually with communication and understanding. You both can get by it, but it will take a long time and a lot of communication/trust building.

If you do not believe him, cannot trust him, and do not think you can grow to trust him again, then that's the end.

Take some time to think about it. It's a big decision.

There's something that's a red flag though... If you feel like you need to go through his phone in the first place, that's a serious indication that something is very wrong. If you can't believe what he says and feel like you have to snoop, something has really broken down. That's usually a sign of a serious breakdown in trust/communication/commitment/etc. Whatever sparked that should be discussed thoroughly. Maybe counseling could be helpful.

If you do decide to leave -- and if you really have no other place to go -- then you'll need to maintain the peace long enough to get another plan together. Years and years ago, my ex-fiance and I split. We lived together. We broke up long before we were able to make a physical split, and it was miserable. You may have to grin and bear it while getting your exit plan together... and depending on the specifics of your situation, you may need to keep that info to yourself.

In the meantime, be careful about what you reveal to your friends and family. If you do decide to stay with him, their opinions of him and your decision could make things very difficult going forward.

This isn't much help for now, but in the future, never move into a home with someone that you can't afford on your own. Maintain your own credit and have your name also on the lease/mortgage/title. No matter what, always have a stash of money set aside for an exit plan. Some people say that's pessimistic and shows a lack of faith in/commitment to the relationship. I think it's like owning an umbrella or buying insurance. Hope for sunny days, but be prepared for rain. When you have your own resources, you know that every day you are making a choice to be in the relationship because you *want* to be, not because you *have* to be. Because of that, I see something empowering about having a rainy day fund; so I don't buy the pessimism arguments.