Ladies: Which guy would you rather marry?

Guy A:

Lot's of attraction and chemistry
kind/great morals
great dad
emotionally aware and compatible
good job, self made man
always defends underdog
says he loves you
common interests

inconsistent, retreats into himself every once and a while
lives far away, you need to move to be with him
Stressed, very busy, anxiety

Guy B:

very consistent,
average guy, predictable, loyal
handsome, dedicated and
committed to your relationship
caring, hard working, loves you

used to be a bully in high school
anger, loose morals, lies to others but not you
criminal record, profanity
immature at times

You have to pick one, no "neither" please
Anonymous User
Anonymous User
Asked Mar 11, 2013
Go with guy a with criminal record thats what make guy a better than guy b.
its for me ok
Answered Mar 15, 2013
A sounds like a better person. B sounds like a lifetime of misery.

Why not branch out to try to find a candidate C who may live closer, and could have time for you in his life? Why settle for a choice between a rock and a distant, hard place?
Answered Mar 15, 2013
I'm wondering... if you're the same person who's asked this question a few times... do you know what's making it difficult for you to make a decision to leave guy B, regardless of whether or not there's someone else? Do you know what's making you stay with a man you sound like you don't want to be with, and who sounds like a terrible match for you? If there is something keeping you stuck (fear of disappointing family, not wanting to look like the bad guy, being afraid of never getting married, etc)? If there is something else in the way, maybe it would be easier for you to make a decision if you deal with that first. Just a thought...
yes,it's me. The thing thats making it so hard to decide is that I'm afraid to be alone and afraid to risk it all to be with the guy I love and have it not work out. Not sure how to deal with that issue, as it runs deep.
I see. I was stuck in a similar spot. With my ex-fiance, I was miserable 50% of the time, annoyed and frustrated 30%, and super happy 20% of the time. (Extremes like this are a very bad sign.) It should have been obvious that I should leave him, but for some reason that I still don't understand today, I thought I only deserved to be 20% happy, and I thought that 20% was enough. It wasn't. It took YEARS before I realized that the bad outweighed the good. It was very difficult to end things.

He had money, a big house, a nice car, etc. He was a little famous. I was 24/25ish, and he was 36, so I was impressed by things like that. I was very attached to his family; they felt like family to me. He was considerate, kind, loving, etc... but he was also inconsiderate, passive aggressive, distant, selfish, condescending, etc. I wasn't attracted to him, and we had no chemistry. But he was safe.
Even after I knew this wasn't the way I wanted to spend the rest of my life -- and realized it was unfair to use him for the feeling of security he gave me -- I was afraid to go. I was afraid to be alone. I didn't want to give up the social and financial status I enjoyed with him.

I finally realized that if this was really the best relationship I could hope for, then it would be better for both of us if I was alone. I put on my big girl pants and got more serious about the company I owned. I took a couple of years "off" from dating, and focused on myself. I worked hard to become a woman who wouldn't settle, and wouldn't be limited in life by her fears. I grew my company, got my grad degree, and bought my own home. I didn't expect a man to give me the life I wanted. I did all those things for myself.
The next guy I dated wasn't a good fit either, but I realized it much sooner this time. I married #3, and we have two kids and a happy life together. I have 100% of a life with him, not the 20% scraps I almost settled for.

If you're panicking about being alone, looking for a man to make you happy, and willing to settle for less in order to get that, maybe that's a sure sign that you need to spend some time alone, and build a better life for yourself. When you have your own happy life, it's easier to invite someone into it. That works much better than trying to find someone who can give it to you.

... And... if he's lying to everyone else, chances are pretty good that he's lying to you too, but you just haven't caught him yet.
I might sound a bit crazy, but I would pick guy B, because he truly loves me, and doesn't lie to me... :P
Answered Mar 15, 2013

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