Was I raped? is this consider rape?

I met this guy, that I automatically got a creepy vibe from, at my friends party.

I figured I was just getting a creepy vibe bc we were both high and drunk so I gave him my number. And I always feel bad turning down ppl when they ask for my number. He seemed to be relatively nice though too because I was crying about my boyfriend, and I told him about how I would never cheat on my bf and I love him so much and such.

Anyway, that party was three days ago and he blows up my phone with texts as if im supposed to be some girlfriend hes paranoid about, constantly like "you there" and such.

Me and my friend were supposed to be going to universal today, and he invited himself. since my friend was friends with him, she was fine with him coming along.
I noticed on one of the rides he was starring at me, I felt really creeped out.
By the time the day was over, we got in the car and went over to my friends boyfriends house. Me and the creepy buy both shared a blunt with my friends boyfriend and his friends. I, having anxiety problems, got extremely high and had bad anxiety. Once we got back in the car to go home I started freakin,my heart was a million miles an hour, my eyes redder than ive ever seen anyones eyes before. my body shaking, and my mind tripping out a bit. things kept repeating, visually and audially and I was so freaked out.

As I'm freaking out, I feel the creepy guy keep touching me. I could hardly think at all, and thought he was trying to be comforting to me going crazy. Afterall, he told me he hates girls and guys that cheat, and I told him about how much I love my bf and howd id never cheat.

But, after a while I thought I felt him his hand rubbing me down there, outside of my pants. as soon as I noticed I grabbed his hand and pulled away with a bit of force. I felt very violated and layed down. then I thought I felt him rubbing my legs. idk if this was him trying to be sexual or comforting. but IK the rubbing me in a certain area is by no means comforting me. Now I feel like complete shit and disgusted. I by no way would ever consent, whether I be drunk or high or sober. He's repulsive as a person and appearance wise to me.

The problem is, I don't know if I just imagined all this because I was fucked up so bad. And if he really did do that, then idk if it can be considered rape? I told my boyfriend about the incident and he wants to kick his ass now if the guy really did that. I don't want my bf to go to jail though. However, if what he did was really classified as rape maybe my boyfriend wouldnt get in trouble?

Wow, I have extreme anxiety over this. My phone just vibrated and I was so scared and disgusted that it might be him texting me, that I felt like I was gonna have an anxiety attack, my heart started racing and my hands became warm and numb. :/

I know this isn't like a huge rape scenario or anything, but I cant imagine how girls that are raped much more severely must feel. I feel so violated and shitty and even guilty bc I have a bf and feel just so disgusted by it.
Asked Dec 19, 2012
I think you like this guy
tough1 May 05, 2014
I'm so sorry! If you have anxiety problems you might want to consider getting medication. You might want to change your phone number and never talk to him again! Make sure if you get a creepy vibe from someone to step away, and make sure to aviod getting an anxiety attack. Also, (I'm not sure if you believe in God) you should pray about it. I hope I helped! :(
Answered Dec 19, 2012
yeah :/ i've been trying to go back to counseling, and maybe theyll give me some sort of medication. I hope so cuz it affects me pretty badly almost every day. and thank! ill completely just disconnect from him. I hope he doesnt try to stalk me:/ he knows where I live now since my friend had him in the car when picking me up -.-
You cannot accuse someone of a serious crime without being absolutely sure the crime happened. When you say, "if he really did do that," the "if" says that you aren't sure what happened and that will end it.

What you describe could be a form of assault but it's not rape. Rape is forcible penetration.

The answer isn't to call in your boyfriend to handle the creepy people you pick up when your head is screwed up, it's don't burn your brain up so bad you have no idea what's going on.

Answered Dec 19, 2012
now I do know that it happened bc I texted him about it saying "why did u do that in the car?" and he started appoligizing saying he was super high. also I have really bad anxiety and guilt and I wouldnt feel better unless I told my boyfriend. hes also like my best friend. and I was breaking down about it, I needed to go to him. I felt too disgusting if I didnt. and I didnt pick the guy up, my friend invited him along.
ive been reading online and it was saying any sexual content without consent is rape, so idk maybe it still is considered that? o.o
btw idk if this affects anything, but im 18. and this kid is a senior in highschool, I think he might only be 17?
The US Department of Justice Definition of Rape:
“The PENETRATION, no matter how slight, of the vagina or anus with any body part or object, or oral penetration by a sex organ of another person, without the consent of the victim.” The definition is used by the FBI to collect information from local law enforcement agencies about reported rapes.

Rob Dec 19, 2012
Get comfortable saying no if you don't want to give out your number. If you can't, then give out a fake number to a grocery store or something, but you really do need to get comfortable saying a polite, but FIRM no. You don't have to be rude, but it's not your responsibility to make everyone who asks for your number feel good about themselves.

If your boyfriend assaults this guy, he could be arrested and prosecuted, so he needs to understand that he needs to keep his hands to himself. There's no argument for self-defense or protection here.

Just block the guy's number from your cell. If you can't do it in your phone settings, then call your cell provider's customer service line. It's usually free to block numbers.

If you were messed up and couldn't make sound judgements, why do you think it's ok to go after this guy who was *also* messed up and couldn't make sound judgements? Why are his poor judgements criminal and yours are fine? If you were both high, how are you less responsible than him?

Why isn't your boyfriend upset with you for being high and alone with another guy? That's a recipe for disaster.

Get help for the anxiety. Drugs only make it worse. It sounds like they make you more paranoid and panicked instead of chilling you out.

If you're going to drink heavily or use drugs with other people, be VERY sure you REALLY TRUST *EVERYONE* you're with when you do it. Otherwise...

This isn't rape. It's a mistake and a learning experience... so learn from it and protect yourself with better decisions in the future... and do find another solution for treating your anxiety.
Answered Dec 19, 2012
He did rape u! so if u feel uncomfortable about a guy touching u in a wrong way plus * You have a boyfriend* here is what u should do!:

1: Talk 2 ur parents! They can help, I know ur thinking! I am old enough to handle this on my own! Truth is u think u r but ur not!

2. Call the Police! Rape is against the law and if u didn't know if it was really rape or not! Now u know!
Answered Mar 09, 2013
I'm very sorry for you :'( but that isn't rape. That's sexual assault. It's still a crime. If him stalking you is giving you anxiety an freakin you out, I'd call the police and get them to check this guy out. You should also find someone you can openly talk to about this, because it's best to get it all out. I suffer from anxiety too, and I engage in hobbies and did things to do that take my mind off it. The best way I take my mind off things is too meditate. I hope you're ok xx
Answered Mar 09, 2013

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