I'm a girl who is in love with my best friend who is also a girl, but is straight.

So my bestfriend of about a year and half or so have been really distant lately. I just got out of the mental hospital about 3 to 4 months ago due to sever depression and suicide, so I have been dealing with my own problems, on top of coming to terms with the fact that i'm bi/leaning more towards lesbian. I've never really seen myself with a girl before, as it was always more common to gush about "having a boyfriend" with your friends. I've been in love with my first best friend also until she did some horrible things to me. We had kissed and done other things but I was young, and not sure at the time what I really wanted. But, nonetheless I knew that I liked girls. Now, when I met my bestfriend I didn't go into our friendship with romance on my mind. I actually told her I had a thing with a guy, and she had just recently broken up with her first boyfriend. We hit it off and everyhting was normal as I was having "boy problems". I would confide in her and we were so close. And then, over the summer, and neart the beginning of the new school year, I confessed to her that I was bisexual. She was cool with it, and I couldn't have been more thankful for her understanding but when I told her that I liked her she flatly said that she was flattered but not interested. "I would never do anything with a girl". Of course, with my emotional condition I took it personally and began to back off a little. I didn't feel like my usual self around her anymore. I felt betrayed in a sense, because we were so alike, we had so much in common. Then she started talking to guys again and things got even worse. I couldn't stand talking about her recent crush without being jealous, or wanting to spend all my time with her, leaving my other friends to go hangout with her, etc. Sooner or later she began to use me as her back-up plan. We would never hangout, and when we did we would talk about all the guys she liked/did things with. They were uneventful and painful hangouts. Sooner rather than later in order to try to move past these awkward stages, I made up a fake boyfriend ( I know, sad. I was desperate) luckily she didn't think to much of it and didn't ask questions but it hurt that she wasnt the least bit phased. Now, presently I am going to go hangout with her in about an hour to talk about the sexual escapade she had with her ex-boyfriend (major douchebag btw) during lunch break. So yeah... lifes good. I need help/ advice to at least get over her and try to get my friendship the way it was, or find out how to really get my feelings across because I want to kiss her really bad :( okay, well, sorry it's super long but I NEED HELP! lol. (oh, also, just in case, i'm a junior in highschool, and she's a senior. I dont know if this will help"

Oh poor you.
But if she is not interested all you can do is forget about liking here or just dont be her friend anymore so you dont have to bear being near her and wanting to kiss her. If she is causing all this trouble for you forget her. This must be especially hard for you with your depression. I have it to so I understand that part. Im straight but I think you can get through this and move on from her

hello,
i am a 12 yr old going on 13 and found out I liked girls when I was in 5th grade, I just wasent attracted to any boys, but when I girl held my hand I felt my face go hot and my heart beating, but the thing was she turned out to be my bestfriend and we are still best buds till this day but im still in love with her .. the worst thing is that my cousin (hes a boy) started to hang out with us and my friend told me that she was starting to like him, I felt a sharp pain,.. but I dident do anything because I dident want to mess up our relationship.. so I know how u feel and what you are going through, but im not depressed or anything, but I agree with the first person who commented, if she is happy then you should be also and try to let it go..its better not to get into any situation where things will get akward, but it ok because there are still lots of people out there, just the thought of that is the thing that keeps me going. and one more thing, just know that ur not alone.

I know exactly how you feel apart from the depressed part anyway I'm 13 and I've knew I liked girls for awhile , but all of my mates are bi so we're alright with it but I started to speak to this girl and got really close we was best friends she was straight she knew I was bi, I told her I liked her she was fine with it but after about half a year I couldn't stop thinking about her , I used to do everythingi could to speak to her or see her , then I spoke to my friends about it and they all agreed that I loved her , so I told her and she was still fine with it but I wasn't giving up I loved her , I wanted to be with her , she was basically everything to me so I tried and tried and tried for a year to get with her and it just wasn't working but I started to get feelings for my other friend ellie(not her real name just using one) so I was about to try and start forgetting about the girl I loved then we had a big fight and she spoke to my other mate and I found out she liked me ...well she said she loved me but she was with some other lad and she said she broke up with him the other week so she could get with me and she cried and said she didn't want to speak to me , she hated me but loved me at the same time .....then 4days later we ended up getting together , we was together for 4months , everything was fine then she crushed my heart and told me she didn't love me nomore , well she loved me as a mate and she broke up , now we are still best friends I'm over her , I'm with her mate charlotte....yes it sounds slagish but I wouldn't of got with her if the girl I used to love wasn't okay with it but she's fine with it , she's happy , I'm happy charlotte is happy , everyone is happy but I did get seriously depressed after my best friend broke up with me but everything is fine now , all I'm saying is things can work out for the best, or for the worst don't waste your time , do what feels right , I know exactly how you feel everything will eventually work out for you , if it doesn't work out with this girl you like , you will find someone else seriously I thought I wouldn't and I'm more happy now then what I was with my best friend , just don't think your alone :) it will work out hope I've helped